The light at the end of the tunnel

Y'all, I can see a LIGHT. The past 12 to 15 months have been very very dark for us. There was simply not enough money to go around and we had to play the choices game: which bills would get paid this month, which could we delay, put off preventive maintenance for the house and car, run up credit card balances to keep food on the table. No matter how we ran the numbers, what should have been able to cover expenses just didn't. It was maddening. It was frustrating. And it beat us down. To have to tell your kids that they can't attend a friend's birthday party because you couldn't afford to buy a present? That may have been the lowest I ever felt. We made sure that the kids had what they needed and we did without; my wonderful mother in law may have helped us with groceries a time or two, a gesture that nearly drove me to tears because I AM AN ADULT. I am supposed to be able to handle this. The juggling act became frantic and by November we were desperate. There was no way out that either of us could see...until we saved our sanity and our marriage by opening the mail.

It was a simple flyer from Quicken Loans but it planted the seed of an idea in both of our heads; the mortgage on our 3-bedroom townhouse was killing us. We had bought at practically the height of the housing boom when a scant 2 years later, the bottom fell out and we were left owing more than the house was worth like so many people. Then came the kids and once Noah was in full time day care, our outlay was more than $3500 for those two things alone. Dyl's a hard worker but I make double his salary which isn't saying a whole lot. The situation quickly went from uncomfortable to strained to completely untenable. So after the kids were in bed one night, I broached the idea of trying to refinance the mortgage. Rates were incredibly low, we should be able to lower our payment and gain some breathing room and he had come to the same conclusion. We were no worse off if we didn't try. The very next day I initiated contact with Quicken Loans and within a week had a team of great people working to help us. They set us up with a personalized website that would be the primary communication tool making it easy to send required documentation. Sure, there were some setbacks like the needing to take on PMI as the home appraisal didn't come back high enough to cover 80% of the value of the loan but that was okay, it was still less than what we were already paying. Other roadblocks appeared such as confusion over a certain Note from the previous refinancing and how much we needed to bring to closing but those were dealt with and last night, we signed the papers (and signed and signed and signed) that will be the key to our salvation. 

Things are looking up: we have a lower mortgage payment now, I received a nice bonus and we've been able to aggressively pay down one of our credit cards. The breathing room from the not having another payment due until April will help us attack the others and build up our savings again. Our property tax will go down July 1st as we lost another $45,000 in our property value (and you can be certain I will be watching that number like a hawk) and we should get a decent tax refund. I am determined that we will never go through this hell again. The stress nearly destroyed us and would have if we didn't finally own up to needing help and then going to find it. Good things can happen if you are willing to ask.

Next weekend, Noelle will be going to her first friend's birthday party since starting kindergarten. That may be the piece of all this that makes me happiest.

This post brought to you by the letter 'P' and the number '3'....

It...has been a trying 24 hours at the Casa de Lange.  In fact, I think that the most appropriate description would be 'clusterf*ck'.  And it was a Wednesday.  I mean, come on now, you expect these things to happen on a Monday.  Which they do.  I have proof.  But no, my beloved Hump Day was beaten to an unrecognizable pulp.  And not by work.  Which is a first in and of itself.

It started out just fine.  Even got a walk in before the rain started.  Made plans with V to meet up with them for dinner at Red Robin, Noelle's favorite restaurant.  And pretty much only restaurant she's been to but eh, it's much better for the story being her favorite.  What a good mommy I was!  Such a special treat in the middle of the week.  Yeahhhh.  Should have quit while I was ahead.  And then...the drive home.  The routine is that I pick Noelle up from school after work seeing as her school is only 5 minutes from the office.  It's kind of 'duh' like that.  I should preface this whole thing by saying that Noelle likes hats.  She is one of the lucky ones who looks good in hats and she loves to wear them.  We have cowboy hats and princess hats and baseball hats and witches hats and sun hats and pirate hats and well, you get the picture. 

Walking into her classroom, I was immediately accosted by her friends and got a flying hug from Noelle.  Those?  My favorites.  Then she launched into the broken record of "I want to wear the pirate hat".  Uh, okay honey, we'll get it from your closet when we get home.  No, mommy, I want to wear the pirate hat.  One of her friends had a (really cool actually) pirate hat that she had brought from home.  Noelle, with her super-sensitive hat-dar keyed in on it and WOULD NOT LET IT GO.  Which meant tears.  Of course.  Over someone else's hat.  Which I would not let her wear.  Bad Mommy!  Finally coaxed her out of the classroom with visions of pirate hats and Red Robin dancing in her head.  Guess what we DIDN'T do before we left.  Go on, guess.  So halfway home she has fallen asleep in the car seat.  I fished out her daily sheet from her bag and yep, no nap today.  Well, crap.  So she's exhausted and did not pee before leaving school.  And it's raining.  Because of course it is.  Which means that traffic slows to a crawl because AH MAH GAD Maryland drivers CANNOT drive in the rain. 

Once we get home (finally!) she melts into a puddle inside the door.  Again:  tired.  Dyl and I traipse upstairs to find the blasted pirate hat as she roused herself enough to whine for it.  Dyl gets back down first and remember that puddle of preschooler?  Well, the puddle made a puddle.  Poor thing was so tired and had an accident.  This?  Was my fault.  Should have deposited her butt onto the toilet as soon as we walked in the door.  So, okay, an accident.  Not the end of the world.  Unless you are an exhausted 3 year old girl.  Then?  The end of the world.  She COMPLETELY freaked out over the accident (to which Dyl and I were all like, eh, it happens.)  The ensuing meltdown pretty much ensured that we would not be torturing the paying public with our little freak show that evening.  So 'Max and Ruby' it was. 

Okay, so no chicken bruschetta burger but Dyl came through with Qdoba for us (nuggets for Noelle).  Woo Hoo!  Love me some steak ranchero burritos with guacamole and sour cream.  Again, fine until the battle over the baths commenced and said burrito began disagreeing with me.  While arguing with Noelle over getting into the bath, getting out of the bath, getting dressed after the bath.  Poor Noah, who needed a bath, got shafted with all the drama and just was put to bed. 

I'd go into more detail but you get the picture and hey!  Noah decided it would be fun to NOT SLEEP.  Which was great.  So Dyl and I are punchy and tired and are very glad that the day is over.  And I had a cute video to end with but it won't load so now it's personal and I'm going to bed.