I'm training my kids to hate Fridays

Poor Noah. He was unlucky enough to get caught in the vortex of Appointment Fridays. He was unlucky because he has a mother who schedules things like doctor and dentist visits as close to the actual birthday as possible or it might just not get done. (This is not called efficiency. This is called hedging your bets.) Two weeks ago (Friday), the day before his third birthday (pictures will come at some point as soon as someone sends me theirs. Mom.) he had his three year old check up where he actually kicked ass and it wasn't until after the check up when he was told he could not play with the doctor's knee-knocker thingy that he broke loose with an epic tantrum which included not only hitting and spitting but the fun new twist of running away and would not be placated by anything even though I loaded up the bag with snacks as it was so close to lunchtime but no, he was having none of that. God woman, JUST GIVE ME THE RUBBER KNEE KNOCKER THIS IS NOT COMPLICATED. (He was hungry. Very. Just...not for snacks. Lunch or bust baby.)

Because big boy is now three, it's high time (all right, all right, way past time) that he got his first dental cleaning/check up. Also on a Friday. And because I am obsessive about documenting every big moment except for the ones where we go to visit people because hello wine, I captured his preshusness for everyone to see and to embarrass him later. Let's see how things went, shall we?

I'm in the chair muthafuckers! (With special guest stars Buzz Lightyear and Mommy Mickey.

Hey Doc, whatchya got there? I am intrigued and unleash Blue Steel.

I...wait....whoa. Back the truck up. What in the name of pants is this?

I'm sorry, you are going to what? With what? And where pray tell?

I DON'T EFFING THINK SO!

You win this time Mother but vengeance will be mine. Oh yes, it will be mine.

I gave him this week off to forget so there's another whole week to dream up new ways to screw with him. Who said parenting can't be fun?