Monday, November 5, 2012

Out of the mouths of babes

Did you know that kids say the darnedest things? It's true! And I will be forever grateful that these happened safely ensconced in our house and not somewhere Ahem.

Scene: She is sitting on the floor taking off her shoes as is the rule in our house in a futile effort to keep the carpet somewhat clean (Oh HAI cat poop hanging off of butt fur). Me: "Noelle honey, please bring me your jacket to hang up." Noelle: "Mommy, I can do exactly ONE THING at a time." Me:  "...I do say that, don't I? Well played my child. Well played indeed."

Scene: She has run into the bedroom while I am changing out of my nice (read: office work) clothes. Noelle (pointing to the hangers on the bed): "Mommy, what are those hooker things?" Me: "Those are hangers honey; hookers are something completely different."

Scene: Getting ready for bed, he spots a crucifix on my dresser. "Mommy, what this?" Me: "That's a crucifix from GG's (my grandmother who passed away a year and a half ago) house." Noah (reverently): "This Jesus?" Me: "Yes baby, that's Jesus." Noah: "Jesus is so COOL! He my best friend!"

Scene: Living room, about to take batting practice. What? Doesn't everyone? Me: "Okay Boo, put Jesus down, we can't play baseball with Jesus." Noah: "Why?" Me: "Because everyone knows he can't hit a curveball."

Okay, so that last one was all me but really, how can anyone resist dropping a Major League reference when the opportunity presents itself?

Now, coffee or cookies? The mid-afternoon slump has hit. Hard.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Phoning it in

I refuse to fail 3 days into NaBloPoMo but in my defense, I was playing zone defense with the kids this morning then had to go into work for four hours this afternoon. Dinner, bath, bed and before I knew it, BAM! 8:30. Well my brain is shot because I'm craving wine and my sister is talking about her husband's family sausage (and I hope to god this is NOT an euphemism for anything). I can promise you I have stuff lined up to talk about such as our extended visit with Henry the Hippo, potty training and being thwarted by trying to eat healthy. Er.  So peace out my lovelies and I'll catch you on the flip side!

Friday, November 2, 2012

Capriciousness, thy name is toddler

Spending too much money on overpriced polyester just to be worn once and summarily rejected the day it's actually called for is the best thing said no parent ever.  I refer to, of course, that rite of passage known as deciding what to be for Halloween.  Noelle knew it early that she wanted to be Jessie from Toy Story. In fact, the campaigning for the costume began back in August (we did however make her wait until October to 1) be sure so as not to waste money (Ha. HAAAA.) and 2) because we are the meanest parents ever.)

Noah, however, had his heart set on being Jake from Jake and the Neverland Pirates. Do you have any idea how freaking hard it is to find that costume? It was nowhere; it almost seemed like we were the only household to watch Disney Junior so we talked him into Buzz Lightyear which he also loves . Assuaging the wounds of acute disappointment was the discovery of the blow up space wings which suddenly made this the most! bestest! costume! ever! He wore it all day Saturday: to dance class to watch Noelle, to Zoo Boo with his cousins, to the Trunk or Treat party at Noelle's school. We were getting our money's worth out of this one yessireebob.

To infinity...or the edge of the playground!

Until Hurricane Look-At-Me-I'm-Sandra-Gonna-Mess-Shit-Up-For-You-Real-Good. Trapped in the house for two days, he rediscovered the dress up box and buried at the bottom of the box was...a pirate costume. On it went and on it remained. All. Damn. Day. He refused to take it off to get a bath and the only way we managed to finagle that was to promise him he could sleep with it on his bed.

You can see where this is going.

The next morning was Halloween go time for costumes at school. His Buzz costume, freshly cleaned was folded on top of his dresser, the pirate costume in  a pitiful rumpled heap on his bed. And he chose....the pirate. Not even the inflatable space wings were enough to sway him this time. So we sighed, shrugged and suggested wearing Buzz trick or treating later.


Yarr, mateys. I be three.

Next year I'm making his choose his costume out of the box. The pink fairy princess dress should fit him just fine then.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Things I bought today that made me happy

Presented in no particular order:

1.  Chapstick

2.  Panty liners (trust me, birthing two 9+ pounders does not do wonders for ye old pelvic floor)

3.  Hand Soap

4.  Gum

5.  Chapstick

6. White Cheddar Cheez-its. They are my crack.

Partying it up like it's 1950 here.  Conclusion? I'm either insanely easy to please or just...really simple.