Random Tuesday Thoughts

I've got two working days left before vacation so my drive to get anything done besides vacation prep is slowly fading away. Not that I'll get away from work totally; I still have reports to run and apocalypses (apocalypsi?) to avert. But I won't be HERE while doing it. At any rate, VACATION! WHEE! But before we can get there, we gotta make it through this week. And it was touch and go whether we would or not.

Saturday night my computer mysteriously decided to eat my profile name so I couldn't log on. Usually not a big deal but I prefer to snark terrible SyFy movies from my trusty laptop and thus was relegated to using my phone. I know. Woe. It was still acting up on Sunday morning meaning that Dyl couldn't do his video show. Like a good wife, I said, 'Take it to the Best Buy service department. I'm taking the kids to my mom's to make cookies. Later!' Turns out that before they'd even look at it he had to buy a $200 technical services warranty contract thingy. Um, no. Not gonna happen. So he contacted a friend who was able to help restore stuff and now I own Tony beer and cookies. (Thanks again Tony! A new computer was not in the budget at this time.) He missed his show but at least I had it back to do my 'The Strain' recap. Priorities, yo.

Huh, everyone in Office Row disappeared. I hope there wasn't a meeting or something I was supposed to be at....

After getting pissy with Noelle's summer camp, I finally (FINALLY!) got her swimming reports for the past 5 weeks. They were on scraps of notebook paper. I think some of my end-of-camp suggestions will be to have a standardized form for the swim instructors to fill out for the kids taking lessons. It's not rocket science until it is.

Speaking of camp, she loves it there and has made lots of friends. Yay! But! She's also generous to a fault and has each week run out of snack money by Thursday buying snacks for her friends. Maybe 7 is too young but we give her money at the beginning of the week so she can get an afternoon snack and once it's gone, it's gone. She gets no more until the next week. I don't want to curb her generous impulses but we are starting to worry that she's being taken advantage of by these kids. She doesn't think so; she likes to share which: awesome but I'm really not in the business of providing snack money to other people's children. Today I instituted a new rule: you can buy treats for your friends one day a week; you choose the day but after that, the money is for you as I can't afford to keep replenishing it when you spend it quickly. It's a balancing act - giving her a safe way to practice budgeting her money versus BUY YOUR OWN DAMN SNACKS YOU GREEDY MOOCHERS!

Related, I really need a vacation.

We're proud of her generosity and her caring; this is a control issue for me that I have to work out. In the meantime, enjoy the closest approximation to the epically glorious behead she sported last week (combine the two and it's spot-on):

Did I mention needing a vacation?

Now, I need to just breathe and let it go.

Monday Brain Dump

Coming back from a long holiday weekend always tends to scramble my brain a bit. I was just lucky that that remembered to set the alarm for this morning. Or maybe cursed.... Either way, we're now on the backside of summer (if you listen to the marketers) but it's soul-meltingly hot today so in lieu of actual coherent content, I'm pleased to present a random list of things that have crossed my mind today. You're welcome.

1.  I have five different 'Words With Friends' games going on right now and I swear that at this point they're just making shit up.

2.  Speaking of summer being 'over', I should probably get the kids' school supplies now, you know, before Wal Mart sells out of everything by next week.

3.  Did I mention that it's only the beginning of July?

4.  How is it that my neighbors who drive a small car are completely unable to park inside the lines? I mean, I know they're from Russia but there are cars there too. It's not that hard people.

5.  There is a house for sale two doors down from us and we're trying to convince my mother-in-law to buy it. Seriously, this is the best idea ever!

6.  I have avocado slices on my sandwich today so I win.

7.  Three more weeks until vacation/family reunion time! I should probably start trying to find 'The Ba-boomp-ba-boomp song' (otherwise known as 'The Thing') for Rob. If he doesn't appreciate it, I know his kids will.

8. We'll probably need to rent a trailer for the beer.

9.  Noelle actually tried some new foods! Chicken legs are a go but red/green bell peppers are on the fence. With any luck, she'll eat more than 10 things by the time she graduates high school.

10. It wasn't a complete win as she's still terrified of any dog that weighs less than 90 pounds.

11. She and Noah are stupidly tall as she is a full head taller than her second cousin Raine who is the same age as her and Noah is the same size as Raine at three years younger.

12. Really, we're already doing back-to-school? What's next, Christmas in August? Oh wait....

13. I was very glad to send them both off to camp this morning as I couldn't take another day of playing Evil Decepticon Brains And Their Assorted Super Pets in the Star Cup Mario Kart Race.

14. If loving sangria is wrong, I don't want to be right.

15. Up yours marketers; you can take summer from me when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.

16. There is only one episode left of We're Alive - A Story of Survival and if you've never listened to this radio drama podcast, you should. It's amazing. It has zombies. Go listen. Now.

17. It's SUM-MMMMMERRRRRRR!

A sweet reminder that there is some good in this world after all

Given the shenanigans of the Supreme Court earlier this week, my faith in humanity had dipped pretty low. I was grumpy and pissy; everything annoyed me - people not being able to park small cars in normal spaces, clearly communicate, well, anything, mechanics being unable to fix a burned-out taillight...that sort of thing. So when Dylan opened the front door yesterday morning and exclaimed 'What the heck is this?!', my heart sunk even lower. Was it another nastygram from the HOA? Were our cars egged? Was it a bag of flaming dog poop? No. It was...gifts.

Completely bemused, we looked at the bags then up and down the street. No, our front steps were the only ones thus adorned. My first thought was that it was a neighborhood game; you leave stuff anonymously and request the recipient 'pay it forward' in a similar way which sounded like a really fun thing to do. Then we noticed that each bag had a note on it 'boy' and 'girl' so it probably wasn't a neighborhood thing...but it was a neighbor and I thought I knew who.

I was right.

We all have that one neighbor who seems a bit odd; a busybody, someone who you suspect might not be all there, the lonely lady who 'adopts' the neighborhood children, the one who goes all-out at holiday decorating. You exchange pleasantries with them but keep a bit of distance since their eyes are unblinking and slightly crazed-looking. But it doesn't matter because those are the neighbors who will be first in line to help. And our angel's name is Jan. She loves the kids, always has time to talk to them, ask them about their days, make them feel important. When the axle of the van broke last October, she ran right over in her dressing gown at 7:30 in the morning along with her husband to help me push the van back into our parking spot so we weren't blocking the rest of the street from being able to get out of the neighborhood. When it was clear I wasn't going anywhere that day, she brought over some small toys and treats for the kids. But this time, this time she outdid herself and for no other reason than to give them a 'End of School Year/Happy Summer' bag of fun.

 Noah loved his stickers so much, he immediately began decorating EVERYTHING.

The adults weren't left out either.

So thank you Jan. It was such a small thing to you, but to me, it helped me to remember that, well, Samwise Gamgee said it best:

There may have been a worse time to be an American woman but it's hard to see how

By now, practically the entire world has heard the decision of the Supreme Court on the case of Burwell vs. Hobby Lobby and Conestoga Wood Specialties vs. Burwell on whether requiring 'closely held' for-profit companies to provide certain types of contraceptive coverage in their health plans violates their sincerely held religious beliefs in violation of their First Amendment rights. That this extremely conservative court ruled in Hobby Lobby's favor is not exactly surprising but it is disappointing, especially as the primary reason against it stemmed from a willful ignorance in understanding how the contraception in question (certain types of oral contraceptives and IUDs) works on both the part of the justices and the companies.

Time for a quick biology lesson: IUDs (intrauterine devices) primarily work as both ovicides and spermicides though there are some who believe that there *may* be some secondary effect on already implanted embryos and this is where the objection lies. Similar with the combined oral contraceptive pill, the primary function is the prevention of ovulation though it *could* have an effect on implanted embryos. Hobby Lobby regards these types of contraceptives to be abortifacients and therefore contrary to their 'sincerely-held religious beliefs'.

Where their argument falls apart is here: The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists  in 1972 adopted the definition of conception as: 'Conception is the implantation of the blastocyst'. Or put in layman's terms: pregnancy doesn't begin until implantation occurs. This was backed up in 2004 by the American Medical Association that hormonal contraception can "affect implantation but not terminate an established pregnancy". So the main ways that contraceptives work (preventing ovulation, preventing fertilization, and preventing implantation) are all prior to the start of a pregnancy and therefore, non-abortifacient.

But there are lots of contraceptives that their health plan does include, why can't those women just pick one of those other types? Because not all contraceptives work for all women and contraceptives are used for reasons other than pregnancy prevention: treatment of severe menstrual cramps, polycystic ovary syndrome, and endometriosis, just to name a few. Most importantly, those are decisions to be made by a woman and her doctor as to what is the best health care for her. No one else should be involved in that conversation. No one. Ever. It's telling that the very folks who want government in as little as possible are first in line to want to peer into the bedrooms and uteri of Americans. Corporations and government have no business being part of that conversation; particularly corporations that purchase products from China (Hobby Lobby) where abortion is not only legal, but also enforced and that invest in companies as part of their 401 (k) offerings that manufacture the very products they refuse to cover for their employees (again Hobby Lobby).

Beyond that, this decision opens a huge can of worms: if 'closely held' corporations whose owners have sincere religious beliefs, even though the majority opinion didn't exempt companies from having to offer vaccines (Mennonites), blood transfusions (Jehovah's Witnesses) and certain products derived from pigs (Muslims), who's to say that those challenges couldn't be mounted in the future? The precedent is now there and could be applied to virtually anything. And as it has been estimated that between 52 and 90% of companies in the US are 'closely held'; that's a huge number of people who could be affected by the religious beliefs of a few.

Now THAT is a true violation of the First Amendment.

An open letter to my daughter's summer camp

Dear Cascade Lake,

First off, let me start with my thanks. Thank you for providing a summer experience for Noelle that has her outside playing the majority of the day. You see, her dad and I have to work and I wanted for her to have the same type of outside fun that I had growing up where I was lucky enough to have my mom home. I didn't want her in a place where they'd be inside most of the time with field trips to the outside (!) for play. You offer swimming and exploring and sports all day? Perfect. Swim lessons provided by Red Cross-trained life guards? Gimme that pen; now where do I sign? I love it. She loves it. It's perfect.

There is just one thing. You see, being outside in the summer requires sun protection. Noelle, being of northern European stock, has a skin tone that best be described as 'death warmed over'.

You notice the striking resemblance to this famous person, no?

Clearly this could be problematic, yes? Good thing that there are plenty of products on the market today designed to keep fair skin, well, fair. This magic product? Sunscreen. But the secret to the success of the magical elixir is you actually have to apply it to the skin for it to work. And when you don't, this is what happens.

 

The long-term effects of sun exposure aside, can we discuss the wisdom of trusting a 7 YEAR OLD to thoroughly and completely coat her skin with said sunscreen? Hell, adults need help covering our backs, didja stop to think that maybe kids would require assistance too? I shouldn't have to have the camp bus driver make a note to have the staff apply sunscreen to my child so she can avoid returning home looking like she was dunked in the same shade of hot pink that once graced the bedroom walls of my sister.

Cascade, we love this camp. She's made friends and learned to swim and discovered a passion for basketball. We plan on sending her little brother Noah there next summer. If you could just do your part of using the sunscreen I provide to keep her from becoming the star attraction of a lobster bake, I have a feeling we can totes be BFFs.

Kisses,

Caspar's Mom

Doctor Hell Yeah!

Ever since Dylan did his 'Dylan DOESN'T Know' show about Doctor Who last December, I've been intrigued by it. From that point on, I was keenly aware of the twitterverse chattering on about something called a Tardis, Donna, Rose, Amy, Nine, Ten, Eleven, feels, weeping angels, Sontarans (I'm looking at you, @DHGamerMR) and EXTERMINATE! but still hadn't seen it though my interest was growing. Plus all the pretty people in the glowy box loving the show can't be wrong, amirite? Thus emboldened, we borrowed the box set from my stepfather-in-law Dyl's step-father Roger and settled in to watch from the beginning of the New Series.

Two seasons and three episodes into the third series and I can officially say we're hooked. Well, I am. I assume Dyl is too as we're giving up going to bed at a reasonable time to watch just one more episode every night. I would even go so far as to way we've joined the ranks of Whovians but not sure we've paid our dues yet. Science fiction, adventure, space, morality...yes. Just. Yes. Whovian yet or not, I love it. And me being me, I *might* have already formed some strong opinions.

Let's just put it out there: my favorite so far has been Nine. Christopher Eccleston was absolutely brilliant - the fleeting childlike flights of joy and wonder but always with the undercurrent of deep sadness. It's so incredibly poignant and wrenching yet smart and fun. We're into the Tennant era now and while he's great too, the mania is just too much. Plus most of the acting is done with his eyes and since the mania factor is high, we get a lot of crazy eyes which is way too close to Barty Crouch Junior from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire for me to take seriously. I'm kinda expecting for Voldemort to pop up in the background and/or menacing tongue flicks any day now.

I'm also fully, solidly Team Rose. She was so...real. A normal girl with few advantages and even fewer goals ended up on the adventure of a lifetime. She's tough, she knows who she is and make no apologies for it. But now we've got Martha. Martha is adorable and sweet and I get that her character is supposed to be a stark counterpoint to Rose: smart and questioning but my god, enough with the butthurt puppy dog eyes at the Doctor. The Doctor is obviously grieving the loss of Rose but doesn't want to be alone which is why he's waffling on taking Martha back after their quick jaunt around the timestream so I don't blame her for accusing him of treating her as a 'rebound' because he totally is, but the result is that I'm tired of her whining and would very much like for her to go home. I assume that this is part of the Doctor's character development through the remainder of the season: coming to terms, letting go, and embracing the new on its own merits but it's not doing her character any favors right now.

Time to get to work, still have a lot more traveling to do before the Tardis lands in August!

Why magnums of wine were invented

Oh! Hey there. So, it's been a while since I've gone off on a work-related rant but after the past few weeks, I feel pretty entitled. Some of it may be boring and techno-y but it mostly boils down to people are stupid and woe is me.

It's been no secret that I'm not the biggest fan of my current position but earlier this year I found out that if I want to stay in Sensory (oh goody) then the head of the NQAL sensory group will be retiring in roughly 2 years and logically speaking, I'm the only one in house that has any responsibilities remotely close to what she does so I put my 2-year plan into action. Mostly this consisted of asking what I need to know and trying to schedule time with my boss to approve the trainings. (Spoiler alert: hasn't happened yet.) Okay, I can deal with two more years of this; things are supposed to improve, stuffs are being moved around, Bob's yer uncle. Then several weeks ago, a friend in the group that I left 10 years ago called me up to let me know she had gotten a new position and hers would be vacant and I should totally apply, she had already mentioned me to the lab manager. Wowzers! That's what I wanted more than anything, to go back there but always felt that too much time had passed. However, the way the job post was written, I qualified on all counts. Sweet! Eternal damnation of the sensory kind was demoted to Plan B. Sent in the bid, got the first interview, felt good about that, got the second interview, was feeling pretty good about that and then....Screech. Sorry. A two-grade jump is too much. We'd love to have you back but only at a lower grade and that's not what we're recruiting for but keep in touch. TTYL. Well fuck. Fuckity-fuck-fuck-fuck. Plan B has been called up to Plan A. Again. (It's okay, I'm still bummed but I've got my name back out there and that's half the battle blah blah blah.)

But! Knowing that's off the table right now (they'll rue the day!) meant that I could refocus on building the base of skills and training that I'll need to become Super Sensory Scientist - management of the shelf life report has found a new home with the materials management group (shockingly, where it should have resided all along), time freed up to really get the descriptive trainings going, still trying to get a meeting with my manager, we're making progress when...Blammo! The maelstrom of stupid has taken up residence in the plant and my office is ground zero.

First was several massive raw material rejections because appearance requirements such as 'Red' and 'Dark Red' were very confusing to our suppliers and I was backed on these rejections completely until the powers that be decided we really needed the material to make stuff and so, maybe our requirements need to be loosened to 'tan with a reddish tint' and 'orange is fine too'. I've stopped responding to emails and phone calls over this because they are on their own now if they want to use this stuff that doesn't meet the specifications that they specifically specified.

Next the person who is now taking on the responsibility of running and researching the shelf life report has just gone out for two weeks on paternity leave. (Interestingly, just last month my company started to grant 1 week of paternity leave. We still don't get actual maternity leave, you go on short term disability for that. While good on them for stepping into the 20th century for the guys, for the ladies who are actually HAVING THE BABIES, sorry, We award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul.) While on one hand, yay! babies!, this means that the report and research revert back to me while he is out because god forbid they have a backup to research materials in materials management along with a different report to block and test 174 products ASAP NBD. (Ha. Haaaaaaa. No.) and assorted evaluations, investigations, panels, and bullshit for the team of Me, Myself, and I.

But it's all good. I just sucked down a giant Diet Coke and I've got a magnum of Chardonnay plus unlimited ice cubes at home. I do apologize though to everyone on the primary ballot; Im'ma most likely take my annoyance out on y'all later. 'Murica! Fuck yeah!