Roasting isn't just for peppers anymore

For the past couple of years, I've been experiencing hot flashes. It's been like two months on, three months off. Lather, rinse repeat. This time, however, I've been commenting on it (see: 40 and not giving a rat's ass) leading to a friend trying to reassure me that it's not a hot flash, it's capsicum. I work in the flavor industry so burning by capsicum is not entirely out of the realm of possibility but alas, no. (Oh, look, here comes one now. Hey, endocrine system, can we set it to 'medium-rare this time? Kthxbai.) So Ben, as much as I'd love to believe you, I don't.

Burn you up from the outside in

It all starts with a metallic buzzing in my head, I guess this would be the preheating stage. The from the center it gets warmer and warmer and warmer until I can feel the clamminess on my skin from the inside. But no sweat on the outside. Well that's a neat party trick - fun with wonky internal thermostats! It hits peak heat and holds for anywhere from 15 - 30 seconds before ending. This is especially fun when the temps are near or at freezing - you would think that it would cancel out. You would be wrong. Hot on the inside, cold on the outside like a perverted McDLT or whatever the hell that travesty was. It mostly stays in the upper body so my icy feet still get the shaft. (Sorry honey). Nobody wins!

Here, this will sum it up nicely:

Lifelong goal to become a kitchen appliance? Achievement: Unlocked.