Battle Royale

And it's not good vs. evil or the living vs. the undead. No, it's played out on a grander scale every day. I refer, of course, to the battle for control over the thermostat. This happened at work. INSIDE the building:

Fingers are overrated anyway.

 Yup, my fingers were completely numb. Not to be confused with Nien Nunb.

There once was a man from Nantucket...

I run cold. I fully admit it and always have a sweatshirt with me. I know some folks run hot as I am married to one of them so I make allowances. Some of my coworkers, however, don't feel the same way. Our HVAC system has been reconfigured and stressed so many times that during the most recent lab renovation (oh, say, 11 years ago) the output vent went in directly above my desk yet the system is shared with the cubicles on the other side of the office wall. I get it, they have to crank the air conditioner to feel any cooler so what did they do? They had maintenance relocate the thermostat to their side of the wall so they could control it.

Ah, my old friend, how you mock me

It's 10 degrees Fahrenheit outside right now. I am in a sweatshirt with a small space heater running while the air conditioner blows cold air on my head. Moving my workstation is not an option as when my office-mate was laid off, they took out all the network connections. Complaining is useless. Asking them to, I don't know, turn off the air conditioner in the middle of winter FFS, is tantamount to declaring open war. Not even turn on the heat, just turn off the AC for the love of god!

It's clear my only remaining option is to distract them with pizza and while they're away, pry open the cover and super-glue the control lever to 'off'. It's fool-proof!

If you don't hear back from me soon, send an industrial strength hair dryer. Or a Saint Bernard. Beggars can't be choosers after all.

Happy First Monday of Spring. Wait, what?

You might not have heard but it snowed in central Maryland on Monday. March 25th. Five days into spring, four days until spring break. A massively epic snow that 4 hours in is at roughly 3.5 inches and counting meaning schools are closed.

Not funny Mother Nature

The natives, they are enjoying the TV right now, alternating with viewings of cat videos on YouTube. This contentment will not last. In fact, I give it another 45 minutes before the restlessness sets in and we'll be forced to do the unthinkable: play outside.

Our sleds match our snow gear. PB Kids, here we come!

It looks to be one of the heavy, wet snows which means is ideal for building snowmen and sledding. Which means that Mommy does the making of the snowmen and carrying of sleds to and from and up the sledding hill. In the snow. Both ways. Which actually works in this case ironically enough. But at 6 and 3, this fun will only last for an hour tops before the whining about being cold and tired and bored sets in. But! We Phineas and Ferbed the shit out of that snow: sledding, snowball fight, snow angels, making of snowmen and catching snowflakes on our tongues. So what then to while away the hours until Daddy gets home and Mommy can drink herself into a chocolate-wine stupor? To the kitchen! For lunch! And various mess-making activities!

This is the only reason we still get the newspaper.

In an unbelievable act of foresight, I actually hard boiled a dozen eggs on Sunday to use for dyeing Easter eggs. Egg-cellent! That should take approximately 15 minutes with about 90 added in for prep, yelling about keeping the dye in the cup and off the table, and then cleaning up the mess as it is a virtual guarantee that they will have lost interest in the whole process once the final egg goes into the color.











Hm, we're only at 1 pm - still 4 more hours to go and desperately trying to resist the temptation of yet more TV. I know! Cookies! Everyone likes cookies. Fun to bake, fun to decorate, fun to eat. Not so much fun to clean up.

And YOU get some sprinkles...

And YOU get some sprinkles...

Check the clock. What do you mean it's only 3:30?! How is this even possible? Oh goody, they're fighting now. Monsters, to your corners. Or be together and bother each other. Don't really care at this point.

Dinner? What do you mean? Oh, yeah. I guess it is about that time. Well if I must...looks like a spaghetti and biscuit night here.  Daddy's home? Oh thank god. Please let schools be open tomorrow as I don't think I can go through this again.

So Say We All