Recession vs. Biological Clock Smackdown!

So you find yourself mired in the deepest recession since the Great Depression.  What should you do?  (Hint:  not getting knocked up is a good place to start.)  What's that?  You already are?  Well fear not my good friends for I am here to shepherd you through this (even more) frightening time with the fruits of my own experiences since apparently the ticking of the ol' biological clock TKOs common sense Every. Damn. Time.  (Full Disclosure:  I snark but our baby was very much wanted so we were prepared to do whatever was necessary to fulfill our family dream.)

Step One:  Breastfeed.  No, it isn't 'free' especially if you are working so you'll need a good pump, milk storage containers, nursing pads etc. but when you figure the cost of those supplies versus the cost of a giant container of formula (which for us with our daughter lasted only a week and ran $37), the monthly savings averaged $112.  Health Bonus:  Since you are more focused on what you put into your body, you'll tend to consume less soda and alcohol.  At least that is what has happened with me substituting a ridiculous amount of water for said soda.  You'll feel better and keep more money in your wallet.  Score!

Step Two:  Make your own baby food.  Most likely you have a food processor.  It is your friend.  Use it.  All I needed to purchase were the whole foods or frozen fruits/veggies and a couple of ice cube trays.  For example, cooking and pureeing two medium sweet potatoes filled an entire ice cube tray. Figure that the sweet potatoes cost around $1.67 and the ice cube trays (if you had to buy them) went around $1.50  Each tray holds 16 ice cubes so each serving of sweet potatoes costs 20 cents.  Compare that with the upwards of 50 cents you'll pay per jar of commercial stuff and the savings add up quick.  Bonus:  by buying more fresh and frozen fruits and veggies for your baby, you'll inevitably start serving more to the rest of the family setting strong eating habits in place for years to come. 

Step Three:  Reuse as much as possible.  Since we didn't find out the sex of our first child, all of our baby gear was gender neutral.  The nursery was light blue and the onesies/sleepers were as unisex as we could find them.  So when our son was born this past August, we were able to reuse all of our baby gear from Noelle's infancy and just update the nursery with a new border and crib sheet set.  We kept the nursery furniture in the nursery and bought new furniture for Noelle's room which was significantly less expensive then nursery furniture.

Step Four:  Hand me downs are your friend.  We were able to get all of Noah's clothes from what my nephews had outgrown.  Of course, he is as big as his twin cousins now so the flow of clothes has trickled to a stop but for the newborn stages, it was wonderful.  You can also visit consignment shops for clothes which require clothes to be stain-free and not 'worn' for less than half the price of new clothes.  Which they will outgrow in a matter of weeks.

Step Five:  Child care.  We were very fortunate that my MIL had retired and we were able to hire her to watch Noah saving us 2/3 of the cost of an Infant tuition.  We did opt to keep Noelle in school as she had moved to the preschool class and the benefit to her far outweighed the actual cost of her full time tuition.  Though we may drop her back to only 3 days a week which could be another $150/month saved.  However, we were prepared to shift work schedules or drop to a single income if need be.  Because these guys?  Are totally worth it.

I could do more to cut costs:  cloth diaper, grow own veggies, etc. but there are only so many hours in the day.  Also, I 'm pretty sure that Grandma would balk at the whole 'cloth-diaper' thing.  It absolutely sucks to have to do a cost analysis before having a child.  And many won't have the advantages that I have so this is in no way a knock on anyone.  It's just what has worked for us.  I hope that you can take away something useful from my experience and head over to Sprite's Keeper for more spins on saving money!

Ghost of Conferences Past

Last night was my parent-teacher conference with Noelle's teachers.  It didn't start off particularly auspiciously as we began almost half an hour late but that ended up being due to a miscommunication on the start time.  But first, a little background is in order.

Noelle transitioned to the 3 year old class last December, the week before her birthday.  Our first conference was in mid-January and was...less than encouraging.  She didn't participate in circle time.  She didn't run around on the playground.  She didn't interact much with her classmates, preferring to play by herself.  She didn't want to play with her friends, some of whom she had been with since she was 12 weeks old.  She had always been a reserved child, not wanting to give or receive affection to or from anyone but Dyl and I.  And I worried about this.  A lot.  Who wants to be around a person who needs that much personal space?  This is in direct contrast to my niece who is just the most open and bubbly person ever.  And is the exact same age. Of course people are going to gravitate to her; she rewarded their attention with smiles, hugs and cuddles whereas Noelle would remain firmly attached to my leg as if grafted there.  I get that, I understood that and I stressed about that.  For a long time.  But slowly, slowly, Noelle became more accepting of attention and affection until she is just as open with family as her cousin. So this development was surprising and I had asked for a follow-up conference when lo and behold, the scheduled ones were back. 

And this time...a complete 180.  Her teachers had nothing but glowing and positive things to say about her and her progress.  She is a super-active participant in circle time.  She constructs amazingly complex play scenarios with her best friend.  She is sensitive to other children's feelings and is a 'nurturer'.  She is a leader and a great sharer.  She talks all the time and loves running around with her friends on the playground.  She is a drama queen the blame for which goes squarely on Dyl's shoulders.  She knows all of her letters, numbers, shapes and colors.  Numbers in English and Spanish to 25 and most colors in Spanish too.  Note:  we are not Hispanic.  She recognizes all of her letters, upper and lower case where the 'threshold' for 3 year olds is...2. 

I am so proud of her progress!  All of this and potty trained in the span of 3 months.  She is funny and silly.  She sings and dances.  She loves hats, dress-up and her little brother.  She's a beautiful little girl who still loves cuddling on my lap first thing in the morning. She is an absolute joy and nothing makes me happier than other people getting to see what I've known all along.  She is my Noellebear.  She is my princess.  And she is so very loved.

Dude, I'm tired

It's only Tuesday and I'm exhausted.  My eyes feel gritty and limbs feel heavy.  Plus it's raining and gloomy out which only serves to make me even more tired.  So this will be a lovely drive home this evening after the parent-teacher conference at Noelle's school.  Did you know that you have parent-teacher conferences in preschool?  It's true!  We even had one when she was only 6 MONTHS OLD.  That was fun:  well, your child drools and flaps around like a deranged baby duck but she sits so nicely and is very cuddly.  I'm...still not quite sure what the point was.  How, as a parent, do you ask any questions around child development when her biggest accomplishment to date has been not spitting baby food back at you? 

*Comes back from tangent*

Right, I'm tired.  And here's why:  I haven't had a weekend off since Easter.  I have worked every Saturday since mid-February (and a couple of Sundays as well) with the exception of two of them.  After working a full week.  And caring for a preschooler and infant.  Don't get me wrong, Dyl has been amazing through all of this but getting up at 4 am to be at work by 6 gets real old real fast.  I end up missing seeing the kids wake up on the weekends, no chance at big cuddles in our bed.  No relaxing in the family room drinking coffee and sharing the paper while they watch cartoons.  I miss it.  I'm missing it.  Soon we'll have Scouts and practices and stuff eating up our lazing time and I'm actually angry about being away from my family.  No job is worth it.  Except when it is.  When it has to be.  I so want to be like Cartman:  Screw you guys, I'm going home. 

I'm also getting maudlin and at bit weepy which so doesn't fit with my Alpha-Bitch rep here at work so:  Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: With a side of 'Rants'

Since it's Tuesday, you know what that means!  Even more randomness than usual around here.  We've got a lot to cover so let's get right to it:

On kids really ARE watching you
Two Christmases ago we got Noelle a play kitchen with pots, pans, a blender, plates, spoons, etc.  This past year we got her some new food to go with the kitchen.  Six months later she is finally starting to play with it.  Which entails putting certain select foods in a 'dutch oven', stirring them with a spoon and then force-feeding me, Dylan and Noah 'lunch' or sometimes 'dinner'.  Force-feeding in terms of her grabbing our chins, yanking our mouths open and shoving the spoon in there.  Except for Noah who is just starting to get the hang of this spoon-food connection so he willingly opens his mouth.  And is very confused when there isn't anything on it but continues to open his mouth when he sees the spoon in the hope that someday something might appear on it.  For the record, we have never modeled this behavior for her so I'm not entirely sure where she picked it up but it's funny.  When she does it to Dyl that is.  It's what she serves that makes me cringe:  french fries, waffles, broccoli and a 'bowl of 'sketti'.  Care to guess what we have for dinner in our house a lot?  I think that I need expand our menu and FAST.

Suze Orman isn't the only one getting her financial house in order
Dyl and I are celebrating another accomplishment.  We've paid off two credit cards completely and have made great inroads on the last one so we are planning to have everything paid off by the end of the year.  This?  Is awesome!  I'm so proud of us!  No snark, just a big ol' YAY US!

You take the good, you take the bad
Since last August when Noah was born, I've dropped 60 pounds.  An entire grade-schooler.  And yes, half of that was pregnancy weight but still, 30 pounds on top of all the baby weight.  I'm pretty damn pleased with myself if I may be so bold.  How could there possibly be any downside to this?  Well, there is a downside though 'backside' might be more accurate.  As in mine is disappearing into 'Flatassland'.  When you are worried about your pants being literally on the ground at work, this is cause for concern.  And let's be honest here, baggy pants do not look good on anyone.  I'm looking at you MC Hammer!  So, why don't I buy some new pants.  That fit?  Well I would but see above RE:  CREDIT CARDS PAID OFF!

Secret, secret, I've got a secret
I've been harboring a secret celebrity crush for many years now on David Boreanz of 'Buffy' and 'Angel' (And also 'Bones' I guess but I don't watch that show )fame which has come to an abrupt crashing end    For now, my dear, sweet, Angel has been revealed to be no better than, oh, Tiger Woods or Jesse James.  Yes, he has been cheating on his wife of 9 years with many women apparently.  One of them even linked to Woods.  Seriously, what do these famous guys do?  Get together in their Famous Manly Club and swap fame-whores phone numbers?  Do they NOT THINK THAT THIS WILL GET OUT?  Why for the love of all that is holy can they not just KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS?  Or not get married in the first place? I...am just done.  With them all.  Fie, a pox on you!

Hello Captain Obvious!
I've just noticed/discovered that the blogspot template does in fact have a spell check button.  I'm going to pretend that this is a new and exciting thing so please do not ruin my carefully crafted illusion if it turns out that I'm just a raging idiot.

SQUEEE!
The hubs and I are going to the midnight showing of 'Iron Man 2' on Thursday.  My MIL is taking the kids so WE HAZ A DATE. 

And now for something completely different
I've been toying with the idea of a weekly column thingy dedicated to the glorious decade of excess known as the the 1980s.  Also:  the decade I grew up in.  Good idea/bad idea/don't really care.  I might do it, I might not.  But *I* think that it would be fun.  And embarrassing as oh yes, pictures will be shared.  My hair.  That is all that you need know right now.

That's it for Baltimore, Maryland, head on over to Keely the Unmom for even more random fixes!

Spin Cycle - The Mother's Day Edition

This week's Spin Cycle assignment is all about teh mammas.  And how we celebrate/acknowledge Mother's Day so make sure that you head over to Sprite's Keeper after this to read all about how others celebrate Mother's Day.  So here we go, it's time to spin!

I've been a mom for 4 years now so I guess this makes my fourth Mother's Day.  And...eh.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mommy.  It's the best thing in the world as far as I'm concerned.  But Mother's Day doesn't really feel about me.  In my family, the emphasis has always been on the grandmothers and to a lesser extent my mom.  But this year will be different, a definitive paradigm change.

My grandmother died 6 weeks ago.  This will be the first Mother's Day that she won't be around.  And this makes my mom the 'matriarch' as it were.  It is...difficult because we were all so close to my grandma.  She was the center of the family so her being gone has knocked the world off of it's axis; at least for the short term.  Growing up the tradition was to all go to church together then off to grandma's house for the festivities.  Which mostly consisted of eating but it was a relaxing afternoon with my mom doing the cooking when my sisters and I were younger and us taking on more of the cooking responsibilities once we got older.  And could be trusted to not burn the house down using the oven.  Over the years the location shifted to my parents' house and we do all the cooking now.  And it drives my mom bonkers not being 'allowed' in the kitchen to help.  Breakfasts in bed, brunches, etc. were not our thing and my mom rarely eats it seems.  It was all about just being together.

My all-time favorite Mother's Day was in 2006 when my middle sister and I both announced our first pregnancies to our mom.  The cheers and the tears made it such a special day for everyone.  Tears of relief for my sister who had struggled with infertility and cheers for the first grandchildren who ended up being born just a week apart and are the best of friends.

This year we've all moved up one level on the hierarchy; my sisters and I are now firmly in the middle tier after having spend the past 30-plus years as the cellar-dwellers.  Mother's Day won't be about me for many years to come and you know what?  I'm okay with it.  My mom deserves to have her years, nay, decades in the spotlight.  She is such a terrific woman, so smart, so loving, so giving and I can't think of anyone who deserves to be feted as much as she does.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!  You are the best and I love you so very much!

RTT - The spelling edition

It's Tuesday so you know what that means - time to get random!

"Mommy, spell 'houses'"
"Houses - H-O-U-S-E-S.  Houses"
"Spell 'traintracks'"
"Traintracks - T-R-A-I-N-T-R-A-C-K-S - traintracks"
"Spell 'cars'"
"Cars.  C-A-R-S Cars."
And so it went.  The entire 30 minute drive home.  And you know what I discovered?  Spelling while driving is SO much more distracting then cell phones.  Those seventh graders in the Scripps Spelling Bee?  AMATEURS.  Spell 'australopithicus' while navigating winding back country roads, then you get to claim world champion status.

Speaking of all things ancient, if you keep your shoulders back while walking, your palms face your thighs.  If your shoulders slump, they face behind you so it looks very Neanderthal-ish.  I'm just sayin'. 

From the gospel according to Noelle:  your pajamas bestow different personalities upon you as tonight she is a watermelon. 

I went searching for alphabet noodles for Noelle to try to expand her menu beyond chicken nuggets, fish sticks and tater tots.  And I found them figuring that hey, her obsession with spelling and letters, she'd eat them and all would be sweetness in light.  I showed them to her and she was so excited she kept a box next to her.  Even gave her the option for dinner:  noodles or fish sticks and she chose noodles.  Made said noodles with a butter/cheese sauce, put the plate in front of her and....no.  "I don't eat noodles."  But, she ate broccoli. I...don't get it.  At all. 

There is no 'Lost' this week.  I'm bummed especially since last week's episode was so darn good!  But, Iron Man 2 opens next week and I has a date!  To see it!  Maybe at midnight with the hubby.  On a completely different but kind of similar note, why are the movies from the 80s mostly awesome and the ones now just seem to suck?  Or maybe the actors were better.  And they hadn't run out of ideas yet. Or maybe I'm just nostalgic.  And old.

How is it that clutter simultaneously multiplies and exerts a lethargic effect on all those near?  Is this the real terror we should be fighting? The sight of it just kills my will to clean.  Which is odd since you would think that it would have the opposite effect.  Hence:  clutter.

I really need to keep a digital recorder in the car as Noelle comes up with the most interesting stream of consciousness that I've heard in a while.  Though I was ready to throw both her and her carrot bat out the window as she spent a good 10 minutes of the drive this morning letting me know the type of each passing vehicle.  Usually I wouldn't mind but A) it was Monday B) it was raining and C) it is Maryland.  A + B + C = Dear God in Heaven, What the Hell is Going On?  Is it wrong to really want a beer at 8:30 in the morning?

You should head over to Keely the Unmom for even more randomness!

And the Oscar for Most Outstanding Performance by a Woman in the Role of 'Life' Goes To....

Many years ago I read a novel whose plot I forget and whose author has been struck from my memory but something from that nameless book stuck with me.  There were identical twin sisters who, having taken very different paths in life with one going the glamorous jet-setting career route and the other becoming a wife and a mother, decided to 'try each other's life on' for a while.  The career sister masquerading as the mother attempted to quantify to her sister's children the value of being a wife and mother and what all that entailed.  She was a chef, a chauffer, a laundress, a maid, a proofreader, an editor.  She was a tailor, a seamstress, a handyman and a delivery person.  By listing the jobs done by one person in support of multiple people, she illustrated to the kids and herself the value of the role of a mother. 

Reflecting on my own life I could add a few more jobs to that list: triage nurse, teacher, coach, entertainer.  And yet this only makes up a small subset of the roles that I and many other women play.  I'm a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a niece and an aunt.  I'm a coach and a player, a boss and an employee.  I'm a lover and a friend, a writer and a reader.  It is a struggle, every day, to find the balance in these wildly differing roles; not just for me but for women everywhere.  It is exhausting to think about it to the point where some mornings I wish I could just pull the covers back over my head, eventually emerging from my cocoon 5 years old again with no role to play in the greater game of life beyond just living and enjoying every minute.  And yet the relationships borne of the roles which had the greatest influence on me as a person are the ones that have been shifted to the background.  Not less important for they are the rock upon which I stand but a foundation, a touchstone to bring the wildly shifting colors of daily life back into some sort of pattern. 

But for all of that being said, there is no role that I would give up voluntarily.  For as much as I love being the mommy, there are times when I like for my mom to 'mommy' me.  I enjoy the strategy of coaching but also relish the days where I don't have to run the show, can just worry about my piece of the game.  I have a tremendous amount of autonomy at work yet there are situations when I crave a mentor.  The grass may not always be greener but it sure can look cleaner.

Be sure to head over to Sprite's Keeper by Friday to read more spins on roles!