Excuse me, but can I interest you in a 'random gunman' rider for your car insurance policy?

This past Saturday I was out of town with my sisters at a wedding, leaving Dyl with the kids. Late that night, he texted me with the cryptic message that crazy stuff went down in the neighborhood but they were all safe. We were exhausted so I passed out without seeing the message, not getting it until Sunday morning.

Dyl went to bed around midnight and was just drifting off when he heard an explosion that seemed to come right outside our house. He looked out the window and saw a person running down the street but nothing else seemed awry. Figuring someone lit a fire cracker in a trashcan, he went downstairs to check more closely and saw another person running. About this time police cars started converging on our street where the only tension is over who parked in someone else's space. Then the search helicopter, SWAT armed with assault rifles and K-9 units showed up so shit got real. Still watching (because really, who could turn away), he saw another officer walking down the street shining his light into and under cars but when he got to Dyl's car he stopped and closely examined it. At this point, Dyl went outside, asking if he could be of assistance; did he need to open the car...? No, not that but sir, did you know that you have a bullet in your window? And there it was, in the small window on Noah's side. (Really, what was he going to say, 'Oh that? That's been there for ages; I was keeping it for sentimental reasons.') Miraculously, the kids slept through it all, even with the search teams heading behind our house to the marshy area backing to the highway.

Once the crime scene evidence gatherer type people showed up, they extracted the bullet but now we're left with a shattered window. The only thing left to do was punch the rest of it out and call the car insurance company in the morning to see about getting it repaired. Dyl started the process yesterday and today received an email (!) response that since "we don't carry physical damage on our insurance they are unable to cover the cost of fixing the car."

Wait. What?

If we had been in vehicular accident, would physical damage have been covered? Is this because it was stationary? For fuck's sake, our car had a bullet in it. A BULLET. In our car. That was parked in front of our house. At night. Because someone got all jacked up when someone else insulted his socks or something and ran down the street in a townhouse community randomly firing a gun and hit our car, we're on the hook for the repair cost since no one talks about the 'random-gunman insurance' rider and how it's money well spent. Just waiting now to hear that our rates have been jacked up due to residing in such a dangerous neighborhood. Those Boy Scouts are hard core, man.

'Murica. Fuck yeah.

The Dance of the Laptop

In our house we have 2 smartphones, one cheap-ass tablet (my 15th work anniversary gift. Whee.), one netbook and one (ancient) laptop. Oh, and a prehistoric desktop but we don't like to talk about that much. Plenty of apparatuses for all things online except that only one works well enough for things like 'writing show recaps' and 'webcam appearances on radio shows' and that would be the laptop. Usually things work out just fine; Dyl's shows are on Wednesdays or Fridays (Comic Book Haul) and Sunday afternoons (Dylan Knows). My writing obligations are Sunday night (The Strain) and Thursday night (Defiance).  Little overlap unless one of us is called to pinch hit on Snarkalec Radio on Thursday night. And that's exactly what's happening this week.

So here's the dilemma: Defiance airs on SyFy at 8 pm. Kiddie bedtime is 8 - 8:30 so we DVR it and watch from 9 - 10, after which I stay up writing the first draft of the recap  and listening to Snarkalec Radio until 11:30/12:00. Snarkalec Radio goes on about 9:15ish and runs til between 10:30 and 10:45. (It's a lot of fun; you should really check it out.)


So, a long night but not insurmountable. However, Dyl's been asked to appear on tonight's episode of Snarkalec Radio which he really enjoys so that means that 1) no recording and watching later after kiddie bedtime as I take notes real time then craft the story around it and B) I won't have access to the only piece of equipment that I can actually write on until 10:30 at the earliest (I'm looking at YOU, Netbook, and your premature posting problem.)

The plan therefore goes something like this: I watch live and take notes, he puts the kids to bed, I log off from Google Plus so he can log in, he plugs in his headphones and prays there are no technical difficulties (Ha. Haaaaaa.), hilarity ensues for the next 90 minutes, he logs off, I log back on and pound jelly beans and Diet Coke like it's my job while trying to remember what I actually meant by the notation 'M weevil' and if I've reached the 'butthurt' mention limit yet.

Sure, we could avoid the whole thing by getting another laptop or an actually working tablet but that costs money we don't have and besides, where's the fun in that? There can be only one and I know where the jelly beans are hidden.

A least it's not raining

Monday. Here we are again, trying to figure out exactly what happened. Where did the weekend go? Truly, how is this possible? I mean, it's not like we were busy doing stuff. Well, I guess there was dance class... 

With two weeks to go until the recital, I'm thinking more practice is in order.

And then there was soccer clinic.

 

Oh, yeah, and a visit to grandma where we planted kids,

But the results were a bit disappointing as the package promises this:

but instead you end up with this.

And tried on hats for the Preakness. 

But it was all good because I drank a shit-ton of wine then capped off the night with Godzilla versus Mothra which was its own very special kind of hell. 

Sunday stretched out interminably before us as Sunday School is over until September. We could do anything! Recreate Africa being destroyed by a race car, 

go shopping, enjoy ice cream, 

discover a secret path through the woods to a new neighborhood...the possibilities were endless. Alas, night fell and as a last hurrah we gorged ourselves on Doctor Who and the Overlander series.

Au revoir, weekend; until Friday then. 

Once more into the breach

Back in November, Dyl and decided that we should probably start being grown-ups and maybe look into refinancing the house as our mortgage is absolutely killing us. (Knowing that we were paying a ridiculously inflated rate on our property tax also didn't help matters. Good thing we just got the new property value: $45,000 less than before. Yay?) So I did probably one of the dumbest things you could do: I picked up an envelope from the mail pile dining room table, opened the offer, read it and decided to call. (Yo! Print marketing! I'm your gal; call me). The lucky recipient of my tentative steps? Quicken Loans.

Now actually, they have been very great to work with - it's all online with some phone calls; they set up a personal website for you, it's very easy to upload documents and the initial interview was very pleasant. Notice before when I said we started this in November? Yeah, still not even close to closing and our rate lock expires at the beginning of February. And it is a very nice rate lock, 1.75 percentage points below our current rate which would bring our payments back to the land of reality from their extended vacation on WTF Island. The issue now? The supporting documentation. Lots and lots and lots of it. And re-faxing the same documents 3 times (I sweartagawd that if they tell me I have to send this one thing in again, I will fly to Michigan myself to administer the beat down.)  Complicating the process is that we've gone somehow from rolling the closing costs into the loan (as I had been able to do previously to get out of an ARM that had me quite worried) into needing to have cash on hand. A lot of it. Right after the holidays. Did I say fuck? I meant  FUCK. Also: headdesk.

So we called in favors, played the lottery, sacrificed a live chicken and our part of the bargain is done. And now? We wait. To hopefully get to close before the rate lock expires thereby making me snap and CUT A BITCH.

The ironic thing? The current holder of our mortgage sent us a nice official letter offering us the chance to refinance due to our outstanding payment history (read: being effin' gouged) and their partnership with another lender will make this all possible. That lender? Quicken Loans.

And that was the point that Dylan had to go running in search of the straitjacket and xanax.

Pillow Talk

Wednesday night after the first presidential debate, Dylan and I were laying in bed and as seems to be our wont, engaging in a deep philosophical conversation, this time around the role of religion in government and policies. (What? Doesn't everyone do this? SEXAY TIMEZ NAO) His position (and one that I agree with) is that one of the founding precepts of this country was a freedom to worship as you please; aka the freedom of religion.  Too many in this country operate under the misguided notion that this is Christian country. Let's get this straight right now: No. No it is not. Never has been. The majority of citizens may in fact practice one of the myriad factions of Christianity but there is no national religion. You can look that up in the Constitution. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Okay? Okay. Moving on.

He was angry that so many felt the need to tell other that UR DOING IT RONG. That there is only one way to peace/enlightenment/heaven/joy and you better get with the program. OR ELSE. That the Bible has good morals and many teachable moments but if you were to actually attempt to live the Bible, you would be reduced to a quivering mass of inconsistencies. There is a book out written by a guy named AJ Jacobs who attempted to literally live the bible for a year (The Year of Living Biblically*). Dyl's point was about picking and choosing and the tendency of those who base arguments and attempt to base policies on biblical passages to ignore the forest for the trees.

Then he brought up an interesting point; all of these different 'Gods', they are really the same person/spirit/entity and truly all we are debating is semantics. It doesn't matter if you address 'God' as God, Yahweh, Jehovah, Muhammed, Grilled Cheese or Honey Boo Boo. If you believe in a divine deity, it's the same figure. And the divine deity? He/She/It likes to mess with us out of boredom. See: everything. I mean, really, how else to you amuse yourself when you are an immortal, all-powerful being?

I admit I was taken by this idea and took it one step further: what if God was participating in a multi-universe Sims game with other Gods of other universes to create the ultimate utopia? What if all we are are but pawns in an intergalatic computer game? WHICH PILL DO WE TAKE?

And as one does after such a discussion, we fell asleep.

* Disclaimer: the link goes to Amazon but that's only because it was the first one that popped up in the Google search. No affiliate link blah blah blah.

9 Years

Nine. NINE?! 9. Today is my 9th wedding anniversary to Dylan. Just over 12 years ago we met and three years later were married. Now two kids, three cats, multiple job changes and a house later, here we are. And I couldn't be happier.

Love you so much honey! Happy Anniversary.

Introducing Jinx

So, we've, uh, adopted a cat.

Say 'Hi' to the nice kitty

Sorry. Here she is.

But can't you see the resemblance?

(I clearly find myself quite amusing.)

We were planning to adopt again but not until the fall, maybe closer to the holidays to give some distance, to clean and purge and disinfect. Not as a 'gift' because giving animals as a gift is wrong to me, but to celebrate as a family getting through a tough year by expanding our ranks and opening our home and hearts to an animal in need.  Then Amy DMs me on Twitter that her sister has a cat in need of a home, sends a picture, uses the words 'sweet', 'bullied' and 'shelter' and we. were. toast.

Dyl and I looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and like *that*, the decision was made.  Is it soon after Bonnie passed? Yeah, a lot sooner than we would have liked. The deciding factors? That she needed a home as she was being bullied where she was and that she would be a 'rescue'. There are so many animals out there now who are losing their homes due to circumstances beyond their control, filling up shelters and likely being euthanized.  We have the space, the means and the love to give so why wouldn't we open our home and hearts to this little lady? Also? Dyl and I both LOATHE bullies of all sorts (I'm looking at YOU, dolphins and Adelie penguins) so that was the deciding factor right there.  Note: we are also giant SUCKERS for a good sob story so get your while the getting is good and/or until we come to our senses.

We asked the kids and they were all for the idea, clamoring to look at her picture again and again with Noah chirping over and over 'Sooo ka-YEWT!'

I am the Lady of the Window and all shall bow before me.

Jinxie's settled in quite nicely; she even slept on our bed with us her first night home and that past few days she's been wanting to be where the action is ie. where the screaming banshees known as the kids are. She's clearly angling to sleep in Noelle's room but that will happen when hell freezes over and/or Noelle turns 11 because according to her, a lot happens when you are 11.

She's a sweetie and is already making herself home be being where she shouldn't be: tables, counters, kitchen sink.... She is so soft and is a dead ringer for Mr. Clyde; she does the psycho cat thing where her eyes go wide, her ears go back and she races around the house like a race car driver strung out on PCP. She has even snuffled me a couple of times (snuffling entails her curling around my shoulders and burying her head under my hair in my neck.) That was solely a Mr. Clyde thing and a bit 'Whoa' the first time. She has the daintiest poops and doesn't eat wet food (huzzah!) but twice now stickers have attached themselves to her butt fur so that was a fun extraction adventure.

She's a fantastic addition to the family. Now to remove her from the dining room table for the eleventy millionth time.

What? I make this look good.

Boy did life get weird

Whee! If I'm going to jump back into Random Tuesday Thoughts, I'd best start with the important things first:

So, how exacty does one add one of those nifty link/graphic buttons to a post?  I keep getting a 'Do Not Pass Go/Do Not Collect $200' message every. damn. time. I. try.

Noelle started joking last night that wouldn't it be funny if we talked out of our butts?  Naturally Dylan and I started with the lines from 'Ace Ventura: Pet Detective' because we are awesome parents and are way mature though we did decide that she is still a bit too young for that movie so score one for us!  What? It's a classic in my head.

I received an email on Monday reminding us that spring pictures are this week at the kids' preschool.  The parting shot?  Kindergarten Readiness students will be taking their GRADUATION PICTURES.  No matter that it's still winter and the chances of finding anything nice in the stores that they won't freeze their little talking tushies off in are remote at best.  On the bright side, I don't have to get her anything special to wear now.

Related: OMFG, MY BABY IN A CAP AND GOWN!!!!1111OMGWTFBBQ!!!11ELEVENTY

Ahem.

(And I totally went out and got her something special to wear anyway.)
We now have a dance routine to accompany 'Farty Girl'.  It's gonna be such a hit in the clubs.

Noah really likes Phineas and Ferb.  This explains so, so much.

Dylan and I managed to stay awake for the entire Oscar telecast last night which was amazing as A) it was not very good, B) we had seen precisely ZERO of the nominate films and C) could not have possible been less invested in any of the outcomes.  I think we deserve some sort of endurance award.

I opened my gmail listing on my phone and one of the ads from Brad's Deals had the heading '$7 for 2 Set of Baby Boys...' which I thought was quite reasonable given inflation and all. (Full disclosure: it was for PJs but much more funny how it looked on my display. Anyone? No? Very well, carry on then.)

No, seriously, how do you add the fun linky buttons?  Help a girl out!

Now head on over to Stacy Uncorked and link up for more random!

The day my heart almost stopped

Poor Noah.  This really hasn't been his day.  First on Thursday morning was the Great Bloody Lip Popsicle Incident of 2012 and then Thursday evening was the Terrifying Goose Egg Raising of 2012.

While getting the kids ready for their baths, everyone hangs out in my and Dylan's room.  We clean Noah's (usually) poopy diaper, get them undressed and herded into the tub.  Noelle gets silly in the evening and tonight was no exception.  She likes to basically kick her legs out and fall backward.  We have a Queen sized bed and two large children so space gets tight and have had many a near miss; I should probably start bringing the Near Miss Root Cause/Corrective Action Form home from work.  Anyway, Noah is lying back on the bed and I'm just getting his diaper undone to wipe him down when WHAM! The back of Noelle's head slams into his forehead.  All of her weight plus the force of her jump concentrated on the center of his head. 

The reaction was loud and immediate and I thanked God in that second that he could cry.  Noelle is crying as it hurt her too, Noah is wailing in pain and I sprint down the stairs to grab the ice packs, leaving Dylan to comfort our injured children.  Racing back up the stairs, I throw one at Noelle, scoop Noah up to apply the ice and rock him panicking the whole time, praying as hard as I can in my head "Please don't die baby, please don't die." (Morbid? Overreacting? Yes but I've read The Hunger Games and have an overactive imagination to begin with so let the good times roll.)  Noah's crying and shaking, Noelle is crying, Dylan's white as a sweet and I'm trying to comfort Noah and not lash out at Noelle. 

We were both trying to keep ourselves under control, she had a bump and was scared too.  And it was hard.  Hard not to yell at her for her carelessness.  Hard not to yell when it was clearly an accident.  Hard to not scare her by lashing out and cutting her with our words.  But we did it.  Some of our fear leaked out but not the words that I would regret.  Not the words that would wound.  Not the words that she would carry with her the rest of her life.  We did tell her that she could have seriously hurt herself and her brother.  We told her that there was a very good reason why we say not to do something.  But we also told her that we knew that it was an accident, that she wasn't trying to hurt anyone, that she was being the silly, goofy, funny little girl that she always has been and that we love her very much. 

We got off lucky; Noah has a big goose egg on his head that nicely complements the cut lip from earlier.  Noelle has a bump that is tender but isn't as visible as it's under her hair.  But after the kids were in bed, I confessed my thoughts to Dylan, that if something horrible had happened to Noah, I didn't know if I would ever be able to not resent her, to not blame her in some way.  I don't like feeling like that.  I really didn't like thinking that but it was there.  Noah's eyes seemed a bit dilated so to be safe, Dylan will stay with him tomorrow to observe him.  I'm sitting here typing with the baby monitor on, the one we haven't used at night in ages as the 'what if' scenarios play tag in my mind.  My poor poor little boy.  He's had such a rough day, it just doesn't seem fair that this all happens to him in one 24-hour period.

Hm, maybe the Mayans are right after all.

The House of Hork

So the evil Vomitosaurus from Planet Spew has visited the house just in time for the insanity of 10 days before Christmas OMFG, bringing misery and leaving ridiculous amounts of laundry in it's squicky wake.  No really, have you ever tried to wash a pillowtop mattress cover in a standard washing machine?  Oh ho HO!)  Both kids have fallen to the attack and I fear that Dylan and I aren't far behind.  Let's just say that the fragrant aromas of my workplace are not doing wonderful things for me and I'd just as soon go home to stew (!) in my own swirling whirlwind of nausea if not for having to inform the Fearless Leader of the impending volcanic eruption and having to withstand the 'wink wink nudge nudge' oh-you-must-be-pregnant what passes for witty repartee that is sure to come with such a declaration NO THANK YOU. (Takes a breath) (Also: not)

My MIL, bless her, agreed to stay with my diseased children today so Dylan and I could go to work.  Yay?  She already had stayed with Noah yesterday and even offered to come tomorrow if we need her though I might just cry 'Uncle!' and stay home with them should the need 'arise'. 

*Wipes tears of mirth at own cleverness*

I called home a bit ago to check on how things were going and if she had been reduced to mute rocking in the corner and...things were good.  Both kids were down for a nap though Noelle is on our bed making for a particularly exciting game of 'Will She or Won't She'.  (Gentlemen, place your bets.) Noah, he apparently turned the corner eating, well, everything in sight.  Mostly of the sweet carbohydrate persuasion. He felt well enough to don the apparel of his alter-ego du jour, Batman (complete with crown and wand - there is no reason why Caped Crusaders can't feel special after all), and run around the house like a complete loon.  THEN he wanted to go outside and play up/down/spin around/fall down/wiggle.  (I blame Yo Gabba Gabba for this Bee Tee Dubs.)  This would be a marked transformation from the toddler I found this morning with sweat and sick sculpting his hair into a directionally-challenged mohawk. 

Noelle actually had cause to use her barf bowl but because it was pink, she chose not to despoil it opting instead for the family room carpet.  I thank my lucky stars that I had borrowed my best friend's steam cleaner and had not returned it yet.  Laziness Forethought FTW!  Because Alice, my sainted MIL is, well, an angel, she cleaned up not only the carpet but also finished up the bed linen laundry (Dylan and I did start it this morning - we are not that bad at this parenting thing).  Noah's 24 hours are just about up so I hope that Noelle's isn't too far behind.  Because then it will be Dyl and I in Pukeasaurus Rex's thrall.

I wonder if Alice would take care of us?

Random Tuesday Thoughts: With a side of 'Rants'

Since it's Tuesday, you know what that means!  Even more randomness than usual around here.  We've got a lot to cover so let's get right to it:

On kids really ARE watching you
Two Christmases ago we got Noelle a play kitchen with pots, pans, a blender, plates, spoons, etc.  This past year we got her some new food to go with the kitchen.  Six months later she is finally starting to play with it.  Which entails putting certain select foods in a 'dutch oven', stirring them with a spoon and then force-feeding me, Dylan and Noah 'lunch' or sometimes 'dinner'.  Force-feeding in terms of her grabbing our chins, yanking our mouths open and shoving the spoon in there.  Except for Noah who is just starting to get the hang of this spoon-food connection so he willingly opens his mouth.  And is very confused when there isn't anything on it but continues to open his mouth when he sees the spoon in the hope that someday something might appear on it.  For the record, we have never modeled this behavior for her so I'm not entirely sure where she picked it up but it's funny.  When she does it to Dyl that is.  It's what she serves that makes me cringe:  french fries, waffles, broccoli and a 'bowl of 'sketti'.  Care to guess what we have for dinner in our house a lot?  I think that I need expand our menu and FAST.

Suze Orman isn't the only one getting her financial house in order
Dyl and I are celebrating another accomplishment.  We've paid off two credit cards completely and have made great inroads on the last one so we are planning to have everything paid off by the end of the year.  This?  Is awesome!  I'm so proud of us!  No snark, just a big ol' YAY US!

You take the good, you take the bad
Since last August when Noah was born, I've dropped 60 pounds.  An entire grade-schooler.  And yes, half of that was pregnancy weight but still, 30 pounds on top of all the baby weight.  I'm pretty damn pleased with myself if I may be so bold.  How could there possibly be any downside to this?  Well, there is a downside though 'backside' might be more accurate.  As in mine is disappearing into 'Flatassland'.  When you are worried about your pants being literally on the ground at work, this is cause for concern.  And let's be honest here, baggy pants do not look good on anyone.  I'm looking at you MC Hammer!  So, why don't I buy some new pants.  That fit?  Well I would but see above RE:  CREDIT CARDS PAID OFF!

Secret, secret, I've got a secret
I've been harboring a secret celebrity crush for many years now on David Boreanz of 'Buffy' and 'Angel' (And also 'Bones' I guess but I don't watch that show )fame which has come to an abrupt crashing end    For now, my dear, sweet, Angel has been revealed to be no better than, oh, Tiger Woods or Jesse James.  Yes, he has been cheating on his wife of 9 years with many women apparently.  One of them even linked to Woods.  Seriously, what do these famous guys do?  Get together in their Famous Manly Club and swap fame-whores phone numbers?  Do they NOT THINK THAT THIS WILL GET OUT?  Why for the love of all that is holy can they not just KEEP IT IN THEIR PANTS?  Or not get married in the first place? I...am just done.  With them all.  Fie, a pox on you!

Hello Captain Obvious!
I've just noticed/discovered that the blogspot template does in fact have a spell check button.  I'm going to pretend that this is a new and exciting thing so please do not ruin my carefully crafted illusion if it turns out that I'm just a raging idiot.

SQUEEE!
The hubs and I are going to the midnight showing of 'Iron Man 2' on Thursday.  My MIL is taking the kids so WE HAZ A DATE. 

And now for something completely different
I've been toying with the idea of a weekly column thingy dedicated to the glorious decade of excess known as the the 1980s.  Also:  the decade I grew up in.  Good idea/bad idea/don't really care.  I might do it, I might not.  But *I* think that it would be fun.  And embarrassing as oh yes, pictures will be shared.  My hair.  That is all that you need know right now.

That's it for Baltimore, Maryland, head on over to Keely the Unmom for even more random fixes!

Scenes from a weekend

Girls' Night Out.  What image does this conjure up for you?  Clubbing, bar hopping, pillow fights....?  Nope, it means seeing RPattz in a totally non-Twilight role.  Except for the hair.  And smoldering glances.  And being all angsty broody brooderson. So yeah, Team Edward went to see 'Remember Me' (which is apparently based on a book.  Who knew?)  And while it was not quite 2 hours of my life that I will never get back, it wasn't terrible.  See:  Girls' Night Out.  Meaning out.  With the girls.  And no kids.  Its just about as good as it gets around here.  We went in knowing nothing about it other than RPattz was in it and that it would probably be a weepie.  Stacey even made us commemorative tissues for the occasion.  Which I didn't use because holy hell was the screenplay, editing AND acting just...bad.  Even the major twist at the end elicted no emotional response from me other than 'Is it over? I hope so because my ass is asleep.'  Then we went for drinks and munchies so everything was better.  Team Edward reconvenes in June for Eclipse but before then we have 'Clash of the Titans' (sans stop motion skeletons. Boo!) and 'Iron Man 2:  Ironner and Manner'. 

Until you are a parent there is no way to be able to understand the draw that is a 1-year old's birthday party.  Or in this case 2 1-year olds since my twin nephews just turned 1!  The best part?  Franken-walking.  Is much awesome.  And hysterical.  My sister's MIL was holding Noah and I guess completely forgot that he is only 6 months old because she set him on his feet and tried to 'walk' with him holding her fingers.  Um, yeah, that's not gonna work Janet.  He's just 6 months.  But he is a huge 6 months.  The older kids were just as adorable as ever and for some reason Noelle decided to try...broccoli.  Not generally a party food preschoolers go for but we'll roll with it.  She does what she always does with a 'new' food:  she licked it.  Wasn't sure if she liked it, was pretty sure she didn't but had to be certain.  So she licked it again.  A PSA for you:  NEVER eat anything that has been on her plate. 

Adult Evening Out!  Also with the 'no kid' theme.  And it was...awesome.  Being able to sit and talk to V and Frank without following Noelle around stalking the Red Robin and feeding Noah and giving Dylan dirty looks for inhaling his food while I can't eat my burger that is sitting there taunting me because I'm feeding Noah who has decided that now is a great time to really draw out the meal and oh look!  There goes Noelle so off Dyl goes to follow her and I'm still feeding Noah and my stomach has decided to just jump out of my body because there is a BURGER sitting there and good lord woman are you going to feed me or not?  But I'm not bitter (my stomach though might still be holding a bit of a grudge).  Another hurdle has been jumped as we went to Don Pablo's since:  fajitas!  And Dyl found out that carnitas with fresh avocado slices is some of the best stuff out there.  Yes, yes it is.  Plus:  margarita!  For me.  YUM.  Wow was it nice to pretend that we still have a life outside of Dora and diapers.  You know, for kicks. 

Not only is it Monday, its raining and also the first Monday of Daylight Savings Time which means that everyone's internal clocks are still all screwed up.  I say that you really can't judge the effect of the time change on your circadian rhythms until you are back in the workweek.  Noelle would like to call shenanigans on the whole thing by staying in bed.  Which she did.  With extreme prejudice.  Back to real life.  It was nice while it lasted.

One crisis managed...

...and a new one begins.  First, the good news:  we have water again.  Lovely, flowing, clear water that comes out of our taps and doesn't stain the toilets brown.  It only took 5 days to come back but apparently repairs are easy to make WHEN YOU HAVE THE PARTS.  And not have to order them from OHIO.  I have nothing against Ohio, its a fine state but really?  The state of Maryland cannot be bothered to keep parts on hand to be able to fix little things like raging water main breaks?  All in the name of controlling inventory costs but that is an entirely different rant altogether.

What? Oh, right.  The new crisis.  Well, not crisis perhaps but definite wrinkle.  Noah has a cold.  Which under most circumstances isn't that big a deal (the kid is a frickin' snot machine) but the poor little guy couldn't sleep last night with all the snerfling and snuffling.  And poor Dyl volunteered to stay up with him until he got comfortable.  At 2:30.  This morning.  We put Baby Vaporub on his chest, used the snot sucker, rocked him, fed him, anything that could be thought of was tried.  But its damn hard to sleep when you can't breathe.  I owe Dyl big time for this as he let me sleep since I had to get up at 4 am this morning to be at work by 6 for a staff meeting that didn't happen.  I'm not as tired as he is but tired enough to be stabby.  So its been a rough week for the Langes but we'll survive.  But onto the good news!

Hurdles that have been attempted/jumped:  Noelle is doing VERY well with using the potty.  In fact as I was getting her ready for her bath (!) last night, she told me that I needed to take her clothes to her hamper since she needed to poop!  And she did!  In the potty!  I am so PROUD of her.

Hurdles that have been attempted/jumped 2:  Noelle has begun using 'Please' when asking for something on a pretty consistent basis.  What used to be "I want craisins and juice" is slowly becoming "I want craisins and juice please".  Yes, you can teach your preschooler manners!  Sort of.  We are still working on all the social cues but hey, its a start.

I'm waiting for Dyl to call with the day care update and as its almost 8:30 and I haven't heard from him yet I hope that he is okay.  And/or sleeping in a bit because damn, 3 1/2 hours of sleep is rough during the best of times.

Guess what?

No really, go on, guess.  WE STILL HAVE NO WATER.  And I am waaay past the point of amusement or even perspective.  To "bathe" Noelle last night we had to heat water in a tea kettle (yes, we have a tea kettle and no, we don't drink tea.  It matched the rest of the kitchen set.  Shut up.), plop her in the bathtub and pour warm water over her in an attempt to remove the last of the green icing from her face/hair (thanks Mom!).  She was...less than pleased with the whole thing.  In fact she announced her displeasure by achieving heretofore unreached decibel levels that were only magnified by being IN THE BATHROOM.  Holy hell, my ears are still ringing.

Noah, eh, he's a boy.  He doesn't care that he needs a bath.  He would like to point out that he would be very happy to make the ultimate sacrifice and forego baths entirely for the sake of Mommy and Daddy's remaining shreds of sanity.  Or he would if he could talk.  Which he can't.  Yet.  But!  We've reached the land of 'da-da-da-da-da-da-da bbbbblllllpppptttthhhh'.  Its pretty profound when you think about it.

I at least have the opportunity to shower at work; poor Dylan doesn't even have that to look forward to.  So if you see him, give him a hug.  On second thought, don't.  He hasn't showered in 2 days. But watch P&G stock since sales of Old Spice will send that bad boy through the roof!

My mother-in-law has graciously allowed us to stay with her and Roger tonight in the event that the water still hasn't returned.  We will be taking her up on that offer.  And abusing the hell out of it as well because hey!  Showers!