Friday, May 28, 2010

Technology and I go together like red wine and peanut butter or EPIC. FAIL.

I admit it, I've been a slacker missing the last two spin cycles the first of which I was too stressed to do a post about stress (file that one under 'I' for Irony) and this week's on proms (those photos will stay safety buried for another year).  But when Jen from Sprite's Keeper offered up technology as the topic this week, well my friends, this I can speak to.  But only using small words for reasons which shall soon become clear.

Oh where to start?  How about with the mind-boggling 4 remotes needed to watch a DVD.  Remote #1:  DirecTV remote.  Remote #2:  TV remote.  Remote #3:  VCR remote.  Remote #4:  DVD player remote.  And now the process:  Turn on TV with Remote #2, change to Channel 3 with Remote #1.  Turn on VCR with Remote #3 (because CLEARLY you should run your DVD player THROUGH the VCR) then finally turn on DVD player with remote #4.  Oh, and volume can only be controlled using Remote #2.  The wiring system was...impressive.  This also explains why when in college I DID NOT disconnect the TV/VCR wiring before leaving for the semester.  Though in all fairness, I did not come up with this system - it's all Dyl's fault.  I just couldn't figure out how to fix it.  And yes, we had very detailed instructions on how to use the TV for all babysitters who looked at us aghast when we handed them 4 remotes and an instruction booklet.  Have fun!  Though we recently upgraded to a LCD TV AND Blu-Ray player requiring only 3 remotes.  How's that for progress?

Then we have my ancient iPod that Dyl got me for my birthday 4 years ago? ish? Even after getting a new computer and finally (!) downloading iTunes (this would be LAST FEBRUARY), I still cannot transfer the songs that I bought on iTunes to said iPod.  And when I say ancient, I mean ancient: 500MB.  I am clearly one of the early adopters that will pay $600 for a phone that makes my coffee.

Speaking of coffee, I'm on my third cup this morning and I have a 12-pack of Diet Coke under my desk.  I'm just sayin'.

Last year (or was it the year before that?  Hm. I'm not sure) I got a new phone.  That! Even! Took! Pictures!  And 2 years later figured out how to send the pictures from said phone to my email address so as to share the blurry action shots of careening 2 year-olds to everyone.

Luckily I'm not a complete idiot when it comes to computers but I have been stumped by the fun buttons.  I wants them.  Blogger says I cannot has them.  But YOU has them.  Please, tell me the secret because Ctrl-C/Ctrl-V is not my friend right now.  And, what the sam hill is a hash-tag?  Can it be smoked?  Braised? Sauteed in butter?

Ah, it's finally lunchtime.  Good thing that I can at least work the microwave.


  1. Fun buttons? Does my blog have fun buttons? What are these buttons?
    Our tv is the same way in which we have three remotes, one for the dvr, one for the actual tv switching back and forth between dvd and cable, and one for the dvd.
    We lost the actual tv one, so every time we would turn on the tv with the dvr remote, if anything was in the dvd chamber, the dvd player would automatically turn on and switch the tv over to the dvd, which of course we didn't want, so we'd have to walk over and manually switch it back. This went on for months until John finally found the damn thing and we're back to normal. FOr now. Until we lose it again. :-)
    You're linked!

  2. I came across your blog through Sprite's, and you sound a lot like me...I'm not a big fan of the techie stuff myself, so you're in good company!

  3. Well technically sweetie with our new BLU-RAY we now only have three remotes.

  4. Get a universal remote. Best invention ever. Now I only have one remote I can't quite figure out how to use instead of 3 or 4 remotes I can't quite figure out how to remove. Progress?

  5. I've been missing too! I'm trying to catch up and I LOVE your latests posts! I'm a total failure at technology. There is no way around it. And congrats on your newand improved dress size!

  6. My husband has these big stereo boxes that he runs everything through in some kind of complex wiring system. We need 2-3 remotes to watch a movie. When I've said to babysitters, "Let me show you how to watch a movie," they look at me like an idiot. I know they are thinking, "I know how to play a DVD." But when we get home, I notice they always mysteriously decide not to watch anything. Maybe I should make an instruction book.

  7. Oh, boy, can I SO relate to this post. Though I consider myself fairly intelligent, these are the kinds of things that elude me. My husband has shown me how to burn a cd, but do I remember? No, of course not. I don't know how to work my mom's tv because of the intricacies of the various remotes. I think I am hopeless.

    Though, like you, I can definitely operate a microwave, luckily for my kids.

  8. Buttons?

    I'm only competent with computers. Everything else eludes me, from cars to DVDs. I don't even OWN a microwave.

  9. I'm kind of half glad that our DVD/VCR recorder is made by the same manufacturer as our TV. We only have to deal with 2 remotes (The Cable Remote and the DVD/VCR Remote). Unfortunately this new DVD/VCR recorder does not have a TV receiver like our old VCR did, so we have to always watch the station we are recording.


Do or do not. There is no try.