Well hello Monday, you moody bitch. What have you done with my silly, goofy kids? The ones I got this morning were...grumpy. To say the least. I'd like to request the return of the smiling happy Noelle who wandered around Toys R Us with me for an hour debating the merits of Dora the Explorer vs Monster High Dolls (no to both for those who were wondering). The excited Noelle who was SO PROUD of the new parts of the recital routine learned. The friendly Noelle who went to work on her classmates' Valentines with gusto, carefully picking out each card to correspond with how she wanted to tell her friends she felt about them (Jake got the kissy card. Big surprise there.) The one who shared her extra lollipop with her brother and the loony Noelle who wanted to play a bizarre version of Ring around the Rosie with her grandparents and couldn't wait to change into the new pajamas they bought for her.
And what do you think you are doing taking away my crazy Noah? I want the one back who when watching college basketball at dinner on Saturday night yelled at the TV 'Tackle him!'. The one who wanted to know if this was the place that served 'cheese-boogers'. The one who ran pell-mell at everyone to give big huge hugs and kisses over and over again. Who enthusiastically did his homework and helped Daddy un-decorate and take down the Christmas tree. Who wanted to play Jake and the Neverland Pirates and trains with Dada and run crazy after his big sister in his new Jake pajamas.
The children I got this morning were NOTHING like that. Instead of silly, smiling Noelle, I ended up with a 6 year old distraught because even though 'good' and 'food' both have the 'oo', they are pronounced differently. (Related: English is dumb) A kindergartner inconsolable because she couldn't figure out how to change the family drawing picture in her Leap Pad 'All about me story book' app. I'd appreciate the return of the snuggly, lovey preschooler too; the one who woke up in Noah's bed threw a massive temper tantrum as I wouldn't give him more breakfast until he finished his first helping and whined incessantly about not getting to pay with his sister's Leap Pad, him having his own video game notwithstanding.
So Monday, you are now on notice. You've got about four hours to turn this thing around.