Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Being Human Recap - The Family That Stays Together

Previously on Being Human: Henry fell off the wagon and is sporting the leprosy spots of shame, Josh and Nora ended up adopting a turned teen girl, Aiden remains conflicted and Sally tried to help Trent find closure so his door would take him to his final reward. We see Henry stagger off into the Boston night led to believe that he dies. OR DOES HE?!?! Trent ended up cheating on his fiancee with Sally but finds out at his funeral NBD, she was cheating on him too so now he's all Whaa? How could someone walk away from 'this' (waves hands at self in disbelief). She's at peace, he isn't so back to the drawing board. Sally in the meantime  is catching the notice of the funeral director and NOT just because she's a crasher, youknowwhatI'msaying? Nora ends up playing Mama Wolf to Teen Wolf Erin which wigs Josh the fuck out. Aiden continues to brood and bemoan his immortal life. Trent finally tells Sally to take a hike, he'll do it himself and voila! His door appears. He goes through the door into the hereafter...or Witch Donna's soup Kitchen which I admit, is a bit of a downer. Girlfriend's looking rough so and zaps him with some witchy mojo turning him to dust. Which she then snorts. As one does. But wait! She's becoming younger, more beautiful, right before our eyes and I dub her Crack Mother Gothel.

Fast forward a week - Beep Boop.

Aiden is still in his woe is me phase and how does one attempt to claw one's way out of the abyss but by throwing a raging kegger featuring Natty Ice in his living room while dancing most unfortunately to 'Thriller'. It was very reminiscent of watching Angel and Wesley dance and I kind of wanted to stake him then the save him from the embarrassment of showing up on You Tube. Aiden has also been playing Russian Roulette with the humans, snacking on anyone with a pulse. Sally is also feeling down seeing as going out pretty much guarantees her seeing someone she knew and killing them to become Regeneriste for Mother Gothel. Playing cards with Teen Wolf, she laments her fate and Teen Wold wisely (I KNOW!) basically tells her to suck it up buttercup, you're an immortal hottie so why don't you move?

Josh the Mensch is really jonesing for some 1:1 time with Mama Wolf but she stiffs him for Grandma Wolf's birthday. Mensch has not given up on the dream of marrying Mama Wolf so sees this as the perfect set up to Meet the Parents. So of course Teen Wold comes along because really, would you leave her at home by herself? I think not.

Aiden shakes himself out of his funk long enough to take Sally to a place where he assures her that she has no chance of meeting anyone from her past. Sally is all about the clothes because let's face it, while yoga pants MAY make your ass look amazing, they really aren't meant for all day, every day wear. It's...a biker bar. That serves margaritas in glasses bigger than your head (though not, for the record, larger than the hubcap margaritas served by Nacho Mama's in Canton. Baltimore, represent!) and while she has some personal time with tequila, Aiden makes eyes at a bald, bearded and completely hammered biker. (Well! Now we know why he and the Mensch haven't sealed the deal; Josh lacks the requisite body art.) Then Aiden and Sally dance and by dance I mean she drapes herself over him because as we've noted before; tequila makes your clothes fall off.) Aiden distracts the clientele with shots (where exactly is he getting the funds for this generosity? A mystery wrapped in an enigma) and sneaks out after Biker Boy for a little lovin'. Or bloodin'. To-May-to, To-Mah-to. Sally finds Biker Boy drowning in his own blood and proceeds to freak. the fuck out.

Meanwhile back in suburbia, the party is rolling at Mama Wolf's house. Grandma Wolf wasn't expecting as many people as showed for birthday dinner so now she has to make more. Way to ingratiate yourself with the fam there Mensch. Teen Wolf's awkward presence is explained that she's the Mensch's cousin. Mama Wolf's brother takes a liking to Teen Wolf who does precisely DICK to discourage this. Grandpa Wolf seems to hate everyone and everything and of course mocks the Mensch who goes to assist in the kitchen where the conversation naturally turns to the dearly departed psycho ex of Mama Wolf. Mama Nora takes off for the sanctity of her childhood bedroom while the Mensch stops licking his wounds long enough to realize OH YEAH, this isn't about me and proceeds to make every man everywhere look like a complete chump with his declaration of love forever and ever amen. Even after Mama Nora says, yeah, I killed him. And Brynn. And...a bunch of other people but you still love me, pinky swear? But of course, my delicate flower, the Mensch loves everything about you!  They hug it out and it's very sweet.

Back at the house, Sally is feeling quite peeved that Aiden ditched her for Biker Boy and goes to visit him in his new abode: the laundry room what with Sally and Teen Wolf needing actual space. She straddles him and places a stake against his chest telling him that if he has a (second) death wish, she'll oblige. There's some nattering about regrets and loneliness and how Josh broke the bros before hos code before he agrees to shake his funk and he tells her where she actually needs to stake him. (No no stupid, you've got it all wrong. It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck.) This is either the best or the worst foreshadowing in the history of forever.

Back at Fun City, Josh works up the nerve to ask Gramps for Nora's hand in marriage to which he's like, eh, do what you want but did you get a load of the mother? You have been warned. He is going to be SO GOOD with Teen Wolf I tell you.

Aiden and Sally go to get jobs; for Aiden it's a bit easier - just fill out an application at the hospital from where he disappeared for a year and bam! Rehired. (Oh, TV, I call shenanigans on that one.) On the graveyard shift but still. Sally has a tougher road seeing as she doesn't actually exist so what does one do in this situation? Visit the funeral home to root around for death certificates for children to use their identity, get caught by the cute funeral direction and walk out with a job. Dressing corpses but still! A job. And possibly a booty call. That won't leave her at a biker bar, giant margaritas be damned. Brother Wolf comes to visit bringing Natty Ice for an engagement celebration which Nora knows nothing about because Gramps can't keep a secret for shit. She leaves him in the house for some reason, Teen Wolf comes downstairs and charmed by his beer hair, invites him upstairs to talk. Josh comes home, hears suspicious sounds from upstairs, goes up to congratulate Aiden for finally getting some again, finds In-Bred Wolf with Teen Wolf in bed and proceeds to unload on him forgetting for a  moment that he is, in fact, No-Wolf and is bailed out by Mama Wolf. Again. Teen Wolf runs off because TWU WUV and Nora shoots Josh down again.

Aiden is getting reacclimated to the hospital when he spies a kid with a sweet set up. Introducing: Bubble Boy. But what is Aiden really without an existential crisis? Just another pretty pretty face.

Next week! Teen Wolf! Romance! Office Shenanigans! Or not. I wasn't really paying attention.

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