Thursday, January 16, 2014

Leggings are not pants and other random musings

1. They look like pants. They are put on like pants and yet, unless you are layering them under a skirt or pairing with a long shirt, thou shalt not wear them as pants. (Babies and toddler are exempt from this of course because RUFFLE BUTT!)

2. Why is it when you go to bed late and you have to get up early you are compelled to wake every 45 minutes or so to make sure you haven't overslept thereby negating any 'sleep' you do get? Also: still tired.

3. If the 'ladies' on Maury Povich want an easy way to identify their baby daddies, perhaps they shouldn't sleep with so many different men in the first place. (What? Isn't every break room TV tuned into Maury?)

4. Never, ever, EVER argue with the judge hearing your case. It's like the people on Judge Judy have never actually watched 'Judge Judy' before. You only piss her off and make yourself look stupid. Stop it.

5. We're big fans of quality talk TV here at work.

6. Recent dreams have included walking around Old Navy in my underwear and last night added in walking around topless. It was beyond weird but man my boobs looked great.

7. While Triscuits and peanut butter are a delicious combination, choosing to make them dinner two out of the past four nights probably didn't help with the dreams.

8. Related, someone needs to study the link between making extremely poor dinner decisions and dreaming about the lack of clothes. I'd try it again tonight (for SCIENCE) but alas, am almost out of peanut butter.

9. It does not matter what time I leave work in the afternoon; I will arrive home at 5:55 pm due to weather, traffic, stupidity (mine or others. Usually others), or some unholy combination of all three.

10. One word for you: Battleshots. Look for Riskbong to be a thing next year.

You drank my battleship!

Have a great day! Phases on stun, good luck, Kirk out.

1 comment:

Do or do not. There is no try.