Monday, February 17, 2014

Rage and Perspective

Noah's name was left off the class Valentines list. It was a mistake, an oversight, I know that. It wasn't on purpose by any stretch of the imagination. His teachers weren't trying to slight him, hell, one of his teachers has been with him since the Two year old classroom. They love him. They aren't getting back at me (I don't think) - I'm involved, keep communication lines open and regularly solicit their feedback on the stay/go kindergarten question for the fall. So I know it was just one of those things that happens. The problem is that it happened to MY kid.

He may not even notice that his valentines box isn't as full as the other kids; he's more looking forward to the party this afternoon anyway but again, *I* know. Something looked 'off' when we first got the list a few weeks ago but it really didn't register - not until last Thursday when we were writing (okay, I was writing) out his friends' names that the lack of 'Noah Lange' really smacked me in the face. There is a child in his class with the name of 'Nolan' so seeing that, I must have assumed that 'Noah' was also on there. But he wasn't. So Friday Dylan called the school to let them know, to give them a chance to rectify the omission as the parties had been rescheduled for Monday. The Director of the Center told him she would send an email to the parents and alert the teachers but seeing his box this morning, completely empty while the others had several little cards in them already just broke my heart.

I know, they are little mass-produced pieces of paper, overpriced and usually coming with candy of some sort. At this age it doesn't MEAN anything, but I know. I have hopes that his really good friends will have noticed his name missing and told their parents "Mommy, we forgot to do Noah's" but that's a lot to ask of 4 year olds who can barely sit still long enough to write their own names, let alone remember everyone else's.

So I did what I always do - groused about it on Twitter but the more I thought about it, the sadder and angrier I got. Matt and Jan 'talked' me down off the ledge when I was fixing to go full psycho-Mommy on the administration and my best friend Vanessa suggested I contact the center again so the teachers could get some cards for the kids to fill out for him before the party. I took both pieces of advice: I calmed down and followed up with the center (and of course got the Assistant Director who knew nothing about it and the Director is off today) but she promised to talk to his teachers about the oversight. She did say that she saw cards in his box and that her son had made one for Noah but thinking about that now....I don't think he is in Noah's class; at any rate, he doesn't have a cubby in there yet.

At the same time, Vanessa's mother-in-law is dying. I've met her many times and she's a wonderful lady, so creative and adores V's kids. She might have the week or be down to hours, it's so hard to say; cancer is such a fucking bitch. Through all of that V still had the time to help me with my piddling issue - a valentine card for preschool. In the grand scheme of things it's barely a blip on the radar while V can't go see her MIL as her youngest has had a fever off and on for the past few days and at 3 years old, won't really be able to remember the grandmother who loves him so very very much and whom he adores.

Maybe some of my overreaction to Cardgate is because of her family's crisis: there's nothing anyone can do about her situation but by God, I will rage and whine about  flimsy pieces of paper because that's doing SOMEthing.

Fuck you, cancer. Fuck. You.

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