Thursday, January 31, 2013

The land of the living

Well! Howdy all. It sure has been exciting round these here parts recently: plague, pestilence and pneumonia.    All in the day's work, really. I know I have been complaining (a lot) on the Twitter recently of being diseased but am now feeling good enough to mock it. Onward Ferb!

Monday was the day I finally bit the bullet (in the metaphorical sense because actually biting a bullet would probably be painful. And dirty. I digress) and actually saw a health professional for something other than check ups. Mostly because my coworkers were threatening to throw me into the Murder Van Van of Shame but still. I entered our medical center complaining of cough, Mysterious Localized Aches and low grade fever. I left with a diagnosis of community pneumonia, tennis elbow and the bazooka of antibiotics, Axy-blah-blah-blah-icin. And my father says I have the personality of a rattlesnake! This'll show him; a rattlesnake wouldn't share diseases with a community, WOULD IT, POPS? I THINK NOT.

This has actually been a very fun experiment as the last time I was on antibiotics, it was for a lady infection and the medicine was...suppositorical. Is too a word. Now. You know how in drug commercials the list of side effects runs almost longer that the commercial itself? That. My head goes from clear to stuff dripping from every orifice known to man to stuffed with wool all within the same hour. My appetite has been wonky from normal to nothing doing no-how to I SHALL SUBSIST ON RUFFLED POTATO CHIPS ALONE. Balance has gone from bad to alarmingly bad and how crow, how are you even allowed to drive? But the most fun? My hearing. Or lack thereof. Even more so than usual. If this is the thing that drives me over the edge to actually do something about it, fine but I just want it out there that I BLAME THE COMMUNITY FOR THIS. I can only hope that I'm fast approaching toxic levels of awesomeness with this stuff swirling around my bloodstream.

Now THAT is a side effect worth choking down.

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