Josh and Nora wake up lovey-dovey and very much nakey because Happy Wedding Day! They are very schmoopy with lots of kissing and it's all very beautiful and vomit-inducing. Meanwhile, Sally also awakes which, good. She made it to wedding day AND she's no longer hungry which means that the guests are not in mortal danger of being eaten. The bad news is that this means she is near the end and is so weak she can barely get out of bed. Essentially she is rotting from the inside out and knows her time is limited. Dying (again) doesn't scare her; it's the knowing that
Speaking of breakfast, Aidan is cooking something when Josh and Nora come downstairs to find the living room transformed into a gorgeous wedding chapel and their love and glee is palpable. Enjoy it while it lasts kids; soon enough you're reduced to sitting on the couch tweeting to the same people about some crazy show, hoping the other one will take care of the dinner dishes. Not that I would know anything about that. Ahem. Suddenly, a knock at the door! A nefarious enemy, come to wrench away their one chance at happiness? No, it's just Kat, Nora's maid of honor who's a bit early and just a little bit peeved after Aidan bolted following their one night in Bangkok. Actually, an enemy might be easier to face. Take it away Aidan!
While Aidan and Kat have the most awkward post one-night stand discussion ever, Nora heads upstairs to get Sally moving and sees her practically wasting away before her eyes. In a panic, she rushes back downstairs to rally the boys. Aidan refers to Kat as his girlfriend and the sound you just heard was a million hearts breaking at the same time. Nora gets rid of Kat so she, Josh, and Aidan can be with Sally as she passes. Again. They make Sally comfortable as she tries to hold it together for the wedding when Nora comes up with a simply brilliant idea: it's time for the Zombie High Fashion show! She had gone out shopping and bought Sally a number of dresses/outfits to try on so she wouldn't be forced to spend eternity in yoga pants and an unfortunate cardigan. While Sally serves as Nora's personal Zombie Doll, Josh is worrying about having a minister there, what with the decomposing bridesmaid and all. Aidan's all, no worries man, I got this. Turns out he's an ordained Unitarian minister who is authorized to perform weddings. Well isn't that just so damned convenient. I'm so glad that that Aidan is spending his immortality so wisely.
Nora and Sally settle on a short purple number and it does go very well with the ever-expanding sores and skin necrosis. She tucks Sally in again who assures her that this is not in fact IT. Yet. The rest of the gang head outside for a breather/strategy session when who should walk up but Sister Em who has been doing a lot of thinking (which looked way painful) and came to the conclusion that hey, I'm a lesbian, you're a werewolf, NBD. Josh is glad to see her and they hug it out at which point Josh lets her know that there might not be a wedding due to a re-death in the family and Emily is basically like, I am wearing a DRESS brainiac so you sure as shit are getting married today. It was very touching.
Yet turns out to be very very soon and Sally is ready but scared. She's loved having the time being real. She could hold someones hand and eat black and white cookies. She's trying to get the Latin pronunciation of the spell correct when Aidan jumps in (again) and coaches her. As she moves ever closer to the edge, he gently talks her through dying, calming her and comforting her and if anyone says that they did not tear up let alone cry outright they are a big fat lying liar who lies. Just before she goes Aidan gives her the gentlest smile and says, 'See you in a few minute.' No, I was not crying, it was allergies.
She comes back as a ghost, whole and perfect and wearing the bitchin' purple dress. Nora and Aidan smile while Josh looks around because he still can't see dead people. Sally asks about her body and that her boyfriend is an undertaker when Aidan smashes her rib cage and pulls out the heart which once belong to Ray. His reason? Spells take power from important things that contain your essence like hair and skin and apparently hearts. In no time at all, the door to Mother Gothel's Shifting Ghoulish Emporium appears and Aidan has to physically rip Josh from Nora to accompany Sally. Well, this isn't shaping up to be the wedding day she's dreamed of all her life.
Somewhere along the metaphysical highway, Josh and Aidan get separated from Sally. Aidan finds himself back in Ireland (?) and comes across his son Isaac who is the cutest little vampire ever seen. Josh ends up in the woods face to face with his inner wolf who rather than running away goes alpha on Josh. Then they both slam into the floor on the world's only disappearing soup kitchen behind Sally. A menacing figure emerges fro m the shadows - it's Zombie Ray who is clearly not thrilled that Aidan is holding his heart. Josh is all, I got this you guys, go take care of the Wicked Witch. Ray threatens Josh, Josh acts tough then gets the crapped kicked out of him. On the other side of the building, Sally is facing down Donna with her incantation and Donna basically laughs in her face. Aidan gets his butt kicked by magic again and Sally summons her inner strength to hurl the spell back on Donna again and again causing her to lose her youthful visage. Donna is gleeful over Sally's fight to exist as most spirits have given up by then so she looks forward to the delicious power. Josh somehow gets the upper hand on Ray and throws him back but instead of dying (again), Ray wolfs out to Zombie Ray-wolf. At this point I expected Josh to raise his fist to the sky and cry 'I have the POWER' to call upon the Josh-wolf but alas, he doesn't. He does...something...which ends the Ray-wolf (again) and stumbles off to find Aidan and Sally.
Aidan remembers that hey! I still have the heart I ripped out of Sally's decomposing rib-cage so Im'ma just throw it in the fire right here. That coupled with Sally's incantations drive Donna to the floor but is she done? Oh no. She's like, is that all you got and regains her feet. Aidan somehow sets her on fire but instead of immolating, she embraces it like a lover then passes it to Sally. Josh and Aidan look on in horror while Sally tells first Aidan then Josh that she loves them and...explodes into tiny dusty Sally particles. Donna inhales deeply like a human Dustbuster and snorts Sally. Her youth returns and she looks very self-satisfied. Until her middle starts glowing hotter and hotter, kind of like she swallowed a noisy cricket, only larger. Satisfaction turns to horrified realization as Mother Gothel explodes in kind and is no more. Sally for the win within; all hail the purple dress!
The three amigos return to the brownstone triumphant and the wedding with one invisible guest takes place. In the excitement of actually getting married Nora forgot to write her vows so she plays it safe with an 'I love you' followed by an enormous face-suck.Everyone is happy and smiling and laughing but did someone forget about the newborn vampire in the basement? Poor Kenny, couldn't even enjoy his first wedding as of one the undead seeing as how Aidan tied him up. You know, just in case. The gang sees Josh and Nora off to their honeymoon and go off their separate ways. Emily is playing Smokey the Bear and goes to blow out the candles around the living room; Sally reappears in the house where the candelabra flares ominously. Kenny's transformation has gone the way of Emperor Palpatine which is not a good look on anyone, let alone a teenager. Is it the wolf blood Aidan ingested, protecting him but dooming all new vamps? Is it the purity of Kenny's blood that is incompatible with turning vamps? Both? Neither? Either way, that sucks dude. Should have stuck with the bone marrow transplant route.
Josh and Nora are in a cabin/motel (klassy!) for their honeymoon when Nora gets dressed to go out. Um, Nora, UR DOIN IT RONG. Outside she hears a chilling voice offering her congratulations. Oh, HAI Liam, now it's a party with Papa Wolf.
Season finale next week and so! many! questions! Is Mother Gothel really gone? How pissed is Kenny going to be when he finds himself the villain of Star Wars? How bad is Josh going to mess Liam up for interrupting his freaking HONEYMOON?