Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Defiance: The Devil in the Dark

Previously on Defiance: sides were chosen, lines were drawn and the golden brooch of Antioch was found. Let's do this!

A human has sneaked into the woods to retrieve...a pair of red running shoes. He laces them up and pops in some ear buds (good to know that iPods can survive the apocalypse. Well played, Steve Jobs. Well played indeed.) and plunges into the woods for a refreshing run while motorcycles pass him heading into town. He's maybe 100 yards into his run when he notices bushes rustling ominously and stops to look around because of course he does. Cautiously, he starts again when he is attacked by an unknown assailant and dragged away thus proving once again that dead men wear red.

You know what this series has been lacking? Brothel action. So off to Kenya's House of Booze and Boobs we head and are treated to the sight of something sizzling in oil and an older balding human man wearing what appears to be a diaper and chained to the bed as his...host...of the day pours the hot oil on his chest and rubs it in good. There is NO WAY I'm Googling that fetish. NO. Way. Super Diaper Man is really getting into this type of play and his dominatrix is doing a pretty poor job of fulfilling his fantasies as she doesn't stop looking at the clock. I kind of want to pat her head and tell her that the cooking of the breakfast comes AFTER but you go on with your bad self there girlfriend. Super Diaper Man has very poor self control to the delight of Julia Child when his ribs inexplicably start coming out of his chest and I shall hereby dub him Crispy McInside-Out. Hm. Perhaps she should have used a low-smoke oil instead. No matter.

In the town square, Irisa seems to be practicing a form of tai chi with a knife and a butterfly when a vision overtakes her. An Irathient child and her parents being attacked. This understandably knocks her for a loop and the butterfly hastens away. Ambling through town, she comes across two of the Spirit Riders that assisted with the defeat of the Volge from the pilot. They've clearly not left town yet and may be looking to put down roots. The leader who is wearing what appears to be a skinned Muppet on his shoulder goes to talk to the Mayor who offers official welcome and the directions to Rafe's house as apparently there is some dispute of the parts of the land ownership of the mines. Good thing that won't affect Christie's wedding to Alak Tarr.

Across town in the Castithan section, Christie has moved in with the Tarrs and to express her thanks for supporting her engagement to Alak, has made them dinner. Mmm, crown roast of otter. Stahma is very gracious and encouraging. Datak, well, he insults Christie's cooking in Castithan which of course she is learning so hey! Awkward! She leaves the table in distress, Alak chases after her but not before letting Datak know that he done fucked up real good. Datak is defensive and grumpy and Stahma moves to smooth it over, trying to explain the gesture on Christie's part to be one of family and etc. Datak grumps that Alak needs to get control over his soon-to-be wife because that is the Castithan way and you can practically HEAR Stahma roll her eyes because yeah Datak, you are TOTALLY in charge. Alak catches up with Christie on the veranda and tries to soothe her when vicious hissing and clicking sounds erupt from the night! Giant...Spider-Lobsters called Hellbugs are attacking and her screams bring Datak and Stahma running as she tried to fight it off with a lamp stand. MacGyver she ain't but points for trying to stay alive and all that. Now fighting monsters? Oh hells yeah and Datak leaps to it with an almost fiendish glee. In a short time he struts out of the house, the Castithan equivalent of testosterone flooding off of him in waves. As grateful Christie is to him to still be alive, I doubt she'll be joining the Fun Family Bath Nights anytime soon. Revenge is a dish best served with a side of shut-the-fuck-ups.

Meanwhile Doc Yewll had diagnosed the case of massive inside-outness as an attack by a Hellbug and once Nolan, Irisa and Deputy Tommy heard that there was an attack on Christie at the Tarrs, they race to Rafe McCawley's house to find the Tarrs there with Christie seemingly making peace when the good Doc orders her to strip and shower like yesterday and burn the clothes she was wearing as they had been saturated with Hellbug pheromones, drawing the bugs in to attack. Who would do such a thing? And why? And what is with the obsession with bathing in this show? The answer may lie in Irisa's visions...

While Irisa runs away followed by Deputy Tommy (reporting for babysitting duty, Sir!), the mayor, Rafe and assorted mine folks sit down to pour over old papers as to who holds the rights to the land the mine is partially situated on. Tommy lost Irisa (worst babysitter ever) so Nolan tracks her down to a field where the visions become more and more intense leaving her a weeping shell of herself. Nolan can't help her as he's only a human so she goes to King Muppet Rider for Irathient advice which dovetails nicely with what he needs as his second in command has disappeared. This advice appears to require most everyone to partially disrobe and take hits off the sacred bong. What this does do is to focus her visions and like the Pensieve from Harry Potter, places her in the scene with anyone seeing her. She sees the Irathient girl living with her parents in the same field where she just collapsed when two humans appear. To the surprise of no one, they are Red Runs No More and Crispy McInside-Out who slaughtered the child's parents and attempted to kill her too. The child? King Muppet's lost second. When the vision ends, the Lawkeepers plus the Irathients make their way down to Old St. Louis in the minds to find her...as well as the lair of the Hellbugs which she called to exact revenge upon those who killed her family for their land. Now where have we heard this story before....?  The Hellbugs are big and fearsome but also blind and deaf (kind of like me) navigating almost entirely by smell (wait...) so how does one hide from the Spider-Lobsters? Coat oneself in Hellbug sthaka of course. They find the lost Spirit Rider and Irisa attempts to talk sense into her. When Irisa is the one being calm and rational, you know the crazy has been cranked to 11. Shots are exchanged, hostages and taken and Hellbug central is blown up. Huzzah.

Spirit 2 has been thrown into jail while Rafe and King Muppet come to an agreement on the land: Rafe returns the land to the Irathients who then agree to lease it back to the McCawley's for the mining activities so everyone wins? Sort of? At any rate, the party moves back to the brothel-bar where Nolan is reunited with Kenya and folks are happy. Except for Red Runs No More, Crispy McInside-Out and the Brave Sir Robin who was left outside the Lawkeeper offices last week and really? We're not even going to get into that? Fine. So: Christie and Rafe have repaired their relationship even though she's still living with the Tarrs, Nolan worries about Irisa and her visions, the Irathients got their revenge but that might not be enough and still no one knows who ordered Ben to blow the stasis field. That's what next week is for folks.

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