Thursday, March 1, 2012

The only way to fight a phobia is to Spin it

Second Blooming

Into something completely ridiculous.  I'm not out and out scared of much but the one thing that tops my list is...spiders.  My reaction to spiders is pretty much straight out of the Ron Weasley playbook: paralysis, whimpering, running screaming in abject terror.  They are too much: too many legs, too many eyes, furry, deliberate all around the stuff of nightmares.  Though my nightmares generally feature teeth falling out and not being able to run but no matter.  Yes, they have their place in the great circle of life, they eat the bad bugs, the ones that carry disease and I'm very grateful to them.  I just want for the them to stay out of my house.  Nature belongs outside is all I'm saying. 

So this was my greatest fear until I read a lovely post by the very talented Jodifur about her recent cruise vacation.  It sounded amazing with nary a norovirus sighting in sight until...the picture of her son riding. an. alligator.  Yes, you read that correctly. Her son was riding an alligator on the cruise ship (everything was contained and handlers were within grabbing distance etc.)  And thus, a new phobia was born: of being stuck on a ship in the middle of the sea with alligators rising up and overthrowing their masters and gaining the run of the ship.  What should I call it? Revenge of the Reptile?

Because I watch way too many really bad SyFy monster movies, the seas around the alligator-infested cruise ship would be full of such eldritch horrors such as Sharktopus, Pirranhaconda and Gamera.  It's not a bad monster movie though until Eric Roberts appears as a boozing politico who just wants his cut of the new act and the only thing that can save them is a marksman shot into a helium tank/massive quantities of liquid nitrogen/opening a portal to the 10th dimension.

Perhaps I need a new Saturday night hobby. So, spiders it is.

Now head over to Gretchen's Second Blooming for less silly spins!

1 comment:

  1. Oh man, that's a brilliant screenplay idea! You should get to work on that...Cruise ship filled with cheery families off for a fun 5 day cruise when suddenly...Alligatorus or Alligataconda attacks! I bet Eric Roberts is available now that he's off Celebrity Rehab!

    You are linked!


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