Confessions of a holiday hoarder

You guys, we need to talk. I think that I might have a problem. A problem that goes beyond chocolate wine or jelly beans or any YA dystopian novel ever written. No, it's much deeper than that. It's a problem about...stuff.

Not 'stuff'-stuff but...stuff. In general. And holiday stuff in particular: Christmas, Easter and now even Valentine's Day, it doesn't matter. I've caught myself eyeballing trinkets for St. Patrick's Day FFS and I am maybe 0.00000017% Irish. Added to my never-ending obsession with ridding my house of stuff, this constant influx of holiday stuff is beyond stupid. My life has begun to feel like a 'Make an every day task a dance' joke: put it in, take it out, put it in, take it out, and push (beat beat beat) and push (beat beat beat)' Do The Shopping Cart! I am well aware of how diametrically opposed those two impulses are. Also: insane. Shall we look at the Easter evidence?

 First Easter. You know, for the baskets at home.  But what about the candy? Those poor, poor deprived children....

Relax homie; I got this

Peter Rabbit says,:I got your 'candy' right here...."

They've already had one Easter, yes. But what about second Easter?

I don't think that they know about second Eas....  Wait. My bad.

But it was with their cousins! An attempt to recreate the fun of Easters past! Think of the children!

And that, my friends are reasons One through Eleventy Billion why I'm in most dire need of an intervention.

Hi there, don't forget about us!

Crap.