Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Being Human Recap: Eh, what?

So! It's been a while since we've last been together. I can give you all the usual excuses/reasons: was sick, did a lot of catching up with work in the evenings, too tired to watch TV (this one is completely true BTW) but  really, it doesn't matter and you don't care so on with it!

Full disclosure: I was only kind of watching last night's episode because I was also re-reading 'Divergent' for the fifth or sixth time so if this goes off the rails, you know why. Also: multitasking.

Zoe de-animated Nick for getting much too literal with the whole, 'I love you so much, Im'ma gonna eat you up!' thing. Ain't nobody got time for that. So who you gonna call? Sally of course. Nick reappears as a ghost and Zoe tearfully apologizes for rekilling him and Nick's like, no worries dawg, I was gonna eat yo ass. Oh, and Be Tee Dubs, so will Sally over here so you may want to just end this BFF right here, right now. His door appears and just before he enters the white light he turns and offers one last bon mot to Zoe. His undying (snert) love? His wish for her happiness? His thanks for her cat? No, not our Nick. A warning that Sally with hurt/kill her and to be done with it. He leaves, door disappears and Zoe cries tears of relief only for Sally to ask, well, what are you going to do with Nick?

The better question is, what is Sally going to do about it? And what does she do? Calls in reinforcements of everyone's famously conflicted re-werewolfed mensch, Josh, for grave digging duty. Really, if this whole medical thing doesn't work out, Josh has quite the career in front of him digging graves. Or ditches. In the middle of a heart-warming conversation during weird physical labor in which Sally confesses her growing passion for living things, she up and remembers oh right! The other guy I brought back! Who knows nothing about this and what is happening to him! We must find Stevie! To the Zombie-mobile! And off they zoom on a zany, madcap adventure because who the hell knows where he is by now.

Josh in conflicted (drink) because he made a date with zen master Pete to get to know his wolf that evening and all it will cost him is a six-pack of beer. If I had a nickle for every time that happened to me.... But they take off and start at the only logical place, Stevie's parents' house. Sally begins freaking out over what to say, starts rambling then crying at which point Josh, the only sane one left, says, you know what? Lemme take this one. Stevie opens the door and Sally is overjoyed that he isn't decomposing while Josh, again sane AND smart (don't let the grave digging fool you) realizes that Stevie must have also discovered the secret to eternal youth. They come in and Josh ostensibly looks for the bathroom while really trying to discover evidence of a cannibalistic orgy. The house is clear until he gets to the kitchen and begins to smell something but whether in a wolfy way or a hey, you got a sewer drain back up kind of way, I'm not quite certain. (See: multitasking) He traces the odor to the breadbox and finds and arm. Guess Stevie was in the mood for a humerus sandwich. Anyway, he calls our two zombies in for a come to Jesus meeting where Stevie confesses the evolution of his hunger and how he killed his parents to eat them but because didn't want to get sick off of spoiled food, put them in the garage freezer. Smart boy. Stevie is conflicted (drink) because his parents were so happy to have him back and changed nothing about the house/their lives and he repaid their joy by eating them out of skin and bone. Josh points to the arm and calmly asks if that was his dad. No, Stevie finished them a while ago. That was the mailman. 'You killed and ate a United State postal worker?!' might have been the funniest thing that I heard yesterday. The postman will never ring twice again, that's for sure.

Stevie knows he's been a bad boy and will be sent to bed without supper so he leads them to the garage where he has set up another noose and asks them to help him kill himself. Again. Because he doesn't have the courage to do it having been there before. Sally wants to help him but you see the resolve harden in Josh's eyes and know that he knows that this is the only way. Stevie of course then tries to eat Josh who is having none of that and tells Sally to leave the garage while he helps Stevie with his problem. Josh returns to the kitchen where Stevie appears for final goodbyes and thank yous when his door appears. Josh interestingly enough can't see Stevie or the door as he hasn't re-wolfed yet then yay! gets his second sight back. Stevie starts moving through the door when Sally shakes off the cobwebs in her brain, realizing that it's the same door that Nick went through. She tries to call him back but the white light takes him and poof! Gone. Josh is confused but Sally explains that each door is personal and that was the same one Nick had. Something sinister? Or just reserved for zombies? Probably something sinister. What did they do with Stevie's body? It appears nothing as really, who is going to notice at this point. Good thing to because I'm sure that Josh is developing some splendid calluses. They are about to head back home when Sally decrees that they are going to have to do something about her soon as she really wants to take the arm for a doggy bag.

Aidan really hasn't been that interesting. A lot of flashbacks in which people speak in soft Irish accents and there's a church with the pastor and now he's berating Aidan for not coming to services and look! Now there's a baby and it's Aidan's and it's all rather dull as I can't understand a single word being said. He's back home? As a vampire? How did his wife giving birth not drive him round the bend with blood lust because let me tell you, it ain't a pretty thing, amirite Dyl? We rejoin Aidan in the present where I assume he's been broody and conflicted (drink) and is wanting sexytimez with Kat but won't because he dangerous right now. He leaves her house with blue balls and out of sight tears into a fresh bag of O+ which one must always have on hand to attend to sexy emergencies. Sated, he goes back and gets laid because will power is not one of his strongest suits.

Josh is late for his date with Pete but brings the beer. As he ambles through the yard, he hears a ruckus in the  trailer and sees Pete being attacked by an infected vampire as Blake has shared the cure with the other vamps and trussed Pete up to be used as an antibiotic. Josh tries to help Pete but Desperate Vamp tries to take him out next. Blake intervenes, reminding out poxy friend that Josh is off limits and if he doesn't want to leave the trailer in a vacuum cleaner, he best be getting back to business. They push Josh out of the trailer where he naturally hits his head and goes unconscious as being hard-headed is clearly not a literal thing for him as Pete is slowly tortured and drained of his blood.

Next morning Aidan he wakes up outside of a house apparently sleeping off a bender and stumbles out of the yard and back home. However, he was not alone....Kat's ex-boyfriend lies dead in the alley and really Aidan, the past is the past and you just need to let it go. She was with him, it was over. Accept it, move on.

All in all a pretty creep episode and with only 2 episodes left, building up to something big involving witches, zombies and Josh making peace with White Fang.



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