Untethered

Also can be filed under: Are women EVER happy?

One of my primary tasks at work has been to run a certain report, research items on said report, sample items, test items and determine a disposition (can they be used or not). The testing and disposition-making are the things I should be doing; the running of the report through research is not; that belongs with our scheduling group. But for the past seven years I've been doing it all and have groused about it not being Quality's place to do the upfront work, just the evaluations. Fortunately (?) my boss agrees with me that too much of my time is taken up by doing the work another department should be doing thus preventing my from doing the real role of my job - developing our sensory evaluation capabilities and monitoring taste quality. He agrees so much so that he spearheaded a project/demand to move the upfront piece back where it belongs. Fine, I'm on board with this plan so I showed the scheduling group how to run the report, the decision-making processes I used in deciding what to sample and then for over a month now, nothing. So glad I put myself behind in my work to do that. That worked out splendidly.

Earlier this week, my boss informed me in our daily staff meeting that beginning next week, the scheduling group would be taking over responsibility for running the report and doing the research on the items. I was taken aback with how casually it was just dropped in the conversation, almost like an afterthought but okay, it's fine, this is what we've been working towards. Tally ho and onwards and all that. Well today when I ran the base reports for the *final* time, I noticed that they have already been run. I don't know if it was them practicing or 'going live' early but I found myself unaccountably lost. So much of my work life has been centered around this report that when it disappeared without warning, I struggled to focus myself. That which gave structure to my days, that I clung to for a sense of purpose, gone, like a snowflake against the windshield.

And now, I wait. Wait for a list to be provided to me to sample and test and check off. Remain on high alert at all times to respond to the whims of another department that I no longer have any control over. My work structure will change, how I organize my day will change and I didn't have time to plan this out. There will be a lot of floundering in the coming weeks, adjusting to the new world order. It's for the best. I firmly believe it and I'll be able to add real value to my department now. I'll be able to institute the sustainable training programs I've been wanting to for so long to develop our staff's capabilities so customers and the business take us seriously as a partner. I get all that and I welcome the opportunity to make it all happen.

But I really would have liked the chance to say goodbye.